Not many people are aware of this law, but it's going into effect on Feb. 10th. Congresses pushed this law through without any to do, they kept it "hush hush." The average American citizen has NO idea about what is happening. I've been spending months working tirelessly (okay, I wish...I'm VERY tired...staying up until 2am surfing the web informing people of this crap law, while tending to an infant, a toddler, and a preschooler who has to be at preschool at 8am has me VERY tired LOL) to get the word out that Congress, in an attempt to protect our children (because we as parents aren't capable of doing this ourselves, right???) ended up passing a law that is going to have DEVESTATING effects on our country. THOUSANDS of small businesses will be forced under due to crippling costs...and moms could end up in jail for making DIAPERS and SLINGS and DOLL CLOTHES if they don't comply or close up shop. So much for being able to buy your daughter a hand made doll outfit made in the USA by another mom...you're stuck buying what ever the big box companies decide is right for your little girl (like those Barbie clothes are SOOOO etifying, right?). Dress up clothes? Nope...can't get well-constructed dresses from a work from home mom, you're stuck with the cheap products that Matel et al, decide your daughter should wear for dress up...using inferior cheap fabrics. Want your son to have a toy car? Great! Just go down to wal-mart and buy the "Made In China" metal version...because you won't be able to find the hand crafted, lovingly sanded and painted by a grandfather supplementing his social security on etsy any more.
This bull crap law has my blood boiling so much I've been loosing sleep. I was planning on re-opening my cloth-diaper making business, but now that'll never happen. Anyway, here's some info on it. I'll add to the list of links as I find more. Here is how it's explained (it's impacts on Americans) on the handmadetoyalliance.org web site:
" * A toymaker, for example, who makes wooden cars in his garage in Maine to supplement his income cannot afford the $300 - $4,000 fee per toy that testing labs are charging to assure compliance with the CPSIA.
* A work at home mom in Minnesota who makes cloth diapers to sell online must choose either to violate the law or cease operations.
* A small toy retailer in Vermont who imports wooden toys from Europe, which has long had stringent toy safety standards, must now pay for testing on every toy they import.
* And even the handful of larger toy makers who still employ workers in the United States face increased costs to comply with the CPSIA, even though American-made toys had nothing to do with the toy safety problems of 2007."
http://www.handmadetoyalliance.org/
http://www.cpsc.gov/ABOUT/Cpsia/legislation.html
http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/cpsia-rant-blame-special-interest-groups/
"...I must admit there have been unsupported claims coming from “our” camp; specifically the repeated assertion that CPSIA will “decimate” the children’s products industry. The definition of decimate is to kill one in ten and CPSIA is a far more effective killer than that. You couldn’t even describe CPSIA as “deadly as plague” since that only killed 30%-50% of infected persons. Based on the results of the Economic Impact Survey I’ve conducted, over 70% of businesses say CPSIA represents the last nail in their coffin."
http://nationalbankruptcyday.com/
There's a lot more out there, just search CPSIA and WAHM. People don't realize the implications this is going to have on every aspect of this economy. Honestly, it makes me sick to my stomach. How DARE the government dictate what I can and can not buy? How DARE the government tell me that I am too stupid to make a decision regarding what is and is not safe for my child? Despite everything else that has ever happened politically this is the first time I am truly wanting to move out of the US...b/c it's the first time that MY freedoms have been impacted so blatantly. I used to sew and sell cloth diapers. I was hoping to get back into it this year since I'm not in school anymore...you know, to pay off my student loans, etc. NOPE! THAT'S not going to happen. The government is telling me that not only am I not able to do that but I can't even sew slings or diapers as GIFTS!! This is the first time that my hands have been tied behind my back. I feel as though I'm tied to a chair and having the government slap me repeatedly. THIS is why I am a conservative...because I am SOOOOOOOO against big government. A big government has WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much power. Our government does plenty of things right...regardless of party (and I'll be the first to vote a liberal candidate if I felt that he'd help this country and reduce the size and power of this government...I just haven't found such a candidate yet...b/c that's the kind of change that "I" want!!!) but this is something that they are doing WAY wrong.
Okay, rante/tyrade over. You, as parents and Americans, need to be aware of this insane law and how it is going to effect you. You won't be able to re-sell your baby clothes/toys. The CPSC released a press release on Jan 8th stating that it'd be okay to, but they haven't changed the wording so until they do, selling baby clothes to a consignment shop, on ebay, or even in a yard sale is ILLEGAL! The costs of products is going to go up...in THIS economy. Yea..that's all we need...most Americans are barely getting by financially and they want to pass a law that INCREASES the products that most American buy.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Thoughts on Attachment Parenting and Spoiling a Baby
Someone on one of the forums I post on a first time mom (FTM) posted very disheartened about her baby. In short, her baby is wanting to be held all the time and will scream if not. She posted asking for ways to break her baby of this manipulative behavior. Her baby is only 10-12 wks old. I posted encouraging her to not try and break her baby, but rather to nurture her in the way that she (the baby) is needing to be nurtured, that it WILL pay off in the long run. So, I thought I'd put my thoughts down here as well for those days that I'm overwhelmed with a screaming infant and 2 small children clamoring for my attention.
<>< <>< <><
Anyway, here's some of what Dr. Sears says on his site.
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SPOILING
Few parents make it through their offspring's babyhood without being told that all their efforts to nurture and respond to their baby will surely spoil her. And if it's not spoiling that they're warned against, they're told not to let themselves be "manipulated" by baby. Attachment parenting is not the same as indulgently giving your child everything she asks for. We stress that parents should respond appropriately to their baby's needs, which means knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no." Sometimes in their zeal to give children everything they need, it's easy for parents to give their children everything they want, and this is indeed harmful. Parents must learn to distinguish between a child's needs and a child's wants.
click here
Yet, telling the difference between needs and wants is not a problem that parents have to wrestle with during their early months of parenting. In the beginning, wants and needs are the same. During the first several months of life, a baby's wants are a baby's needs. A consistent "yes" response teaches babies trust, which will make them more accepting of "no" later on, when they start wanting things they should not have. If you learn to know your baby by responding readily to his needs in the early months, you'll have a good sense of when it's appropriate to say no later on.
New parents often ask, "Won't holding our baby a lot, responding to cries, nursing our baby on cue, and even sleeping with our baby spoil her?" Or they ask if this kind of parenting will create an overly dependent, manipulative child? Our answer is an emphatic no. In fact, both experience and research have shown the opposite. Attachment fosters eventual interdependence. A child whose needs are met predictably and dependably does not have to whine and cry and worry about getting his parents to do what he needs.
Dr. Sears suggests: Attachment parenting implies responding appropriately to your baby; spoiling suggests responding inappropriately.
The spoiling theory seems scientific. At least it seemed logical to the childcare "experts" who popularized this idea, beginning in the early part of the 20th century. They thought that if you rewarded crying by picking the baby up, he would cry more, so that he would get picked up more. It turns out that human behavior is a little more complicated than this. It is true that if you carry a newborn baby in your arms much of the time, the baby will protest when put down in the crib. This baby has learned how to feel right, and she lets you know when she needs help getting that feeling back. However, in the long run, this rightness within her will make her less likely to cry for attention. She gets used to feeling right most of the time, and her parent's responsiveness shows her how to recognize her own needs. Spoiling happens when a child is put on the shelf, left alone, forgotten about--the way that food spoils. There was no scientific basis for this spoiling theory, just unwarranted fears and opinions. We would like to put the spoiling theory on the shelf � to spoil forever.
The attachment style of parenting is not the same as overindulging kids or creating inappropriate dependency. The possessive parent, or "hover mother," is constantly in a flurry around her child, doing everything for him because of her own fears and insecurity. Her child may become overly dependent, because he has been kept from doing what he needs to do. An attached mother recognizes when it is appropriate to let her child struggle a bit, experience some frustration, so that he can grow. This is why we continually emphasize putting balance in your chosen parenting style. Attachment differs from dependency. Attachment enhances development; prolonged dependency will hinder development.
Science Says
Attachment studies have spoiled the spoiling theory. Researchers Drs. Bell and Ainsworth at John Hopkins University studied two sets of parents and their children. Group A were attachment-parented babies. These babies were securely attached, the products of responsive parenting. Group B babies were parented n a more restrained way, with a set schedule and given a less intuitive and nurturing response to their cues. All these babies were tracked for at least a year. Which group do you think eventually turned out to be the most independent? Group A, the securely attached babies. Researchers who have studied the affects of parenting styles on children's later outcome have concluded, to put it simply, that the spoiling theory is utter nonsense.
Pick them up quickly and they'll get down quickly. Or, as one sensitive mother of a well-attached child said proudly, "He's not spoiled; he's perfectly fresh!" Spoiling does become an issue a few years from now, when overindulgence or permissiveness signals a parent's inability to set limits and provide boundaries. This happens most often in children who are materially bonded or whose parents are still trapped in dysfunctional patterns from their own childhood.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t100200.asp
= = =
THE PAYOFF: OUR 6 OBSERVATIONS ON HOW AP KIDS TURN OUT
Attachment tip: The six baby B's translate into the six childhood C's.
click here
Note: Parents should not take all the credit or all the blame for the person their child later becomes. You do your best to raise your children with all the tools and resources you have at that time. The rest is up to the child. While there is no perfect correlation between what parents do in those early years and the outcome of their children, in over thirty in pediatric practice, I have observed that AP kids share many of these features:
1. Caring kids. Attachment-parented kids show empathy. These are kids who care (e.g., care-full). From birth on, these children were on the receiving end of nurturing. Someone cared for then. Caring, giving, listening, and responding to needs became the family norm, and these qualities became part of the child. The child went from receiver to giver. When friends are hurting, these children rush to help. These are compassionate kids who hurt when other people hurt.
Studies on troubled teens and psychopaths have shown that these persons have one abnormal feature in common: a lack of caring. They feel no remorse for what they do. They act without considering the effects of their behavior on others. Not so the children who are the product of attachment parenting. These children consider the feelings of others before they act. They care about how their actions affect other people. They have a healthy sense of guilt, feeling wrong when they act wrongly and feeling good when they should. Connected kids care. (For more information see Raising a Moral Child)
2. Compassionate kids. Because these children are on the receiving end of sensitive parenting, they become sensitive themselves. These children grow up with a deep inner sense of rightness. They are keenly aware when this rightness is upset and they strive to bring things back into balance.
I watch these children in playgroups. These early takers have become good givers. They actually share willingly � something that is difficult for many children. In playgroups, they are concerned about the needs and rights of their peers as they've seen that modeled.
These children are more sensitive to their friends and their parents. Attachment-parented (especially high-need) children are supersensitive to your moods. When you feel stressed, they act stressed. Eventually, this sensitivity becomes an asset, so that when you feel bad they act their best in order to help you feel better. I have witnessed our own children and others trying to console their upset parents, "Don't cry, Mommy, I'll help you" or "It's okay, Daddy, I love you." Watching a sensitive three-year-old console the adult she loves is one of the most beautiful payoffs you will ever witness. No adult therapist could ever offer words that have such impact as those that naturally flow from the heart of a sensitive child.
As an added bonus, because you were sensitive to your child, you will find your overall sensitivity to everyone and everything else goes up a notch. The ability to get behind the eyes of your child, to see things from his viewpoint, to think "kid first" carries over to your sensitivity to your mate, your friends, your job, and your overall social awareness.
3. Connected kids. AP kids develop the quality of intimacy . Attachment-parented children have the ability to feel close to another person, because these "Velcro babies" spent the most formative months of their lives in arms and at breast. These kids have learned to bond to people rather than to things. They become high-touch persons even in a high-tech world.
Therapists whose offices are filled with former high-need children who didn't get responsive parenting tell us that most of their energy is spent in helping these persons get close to someone. These people have difficulty getting connected. They do not have the capacity for feeling close. Not so high-need children who are the product of high-giving parents. These children thrive on interpersonal relationships. Being connected is their norm. The AP infant is more likely to become the child who forms deep friendships with peers and the adult who enjoys deep intimacy with a mate. These are deep children, capable of deep relationships. Because they were close to their parents and caregivers, they become capable of strong attachments. Intimacy becomes their standard for future relationships. These children are affectionate. The connected child has learned to give and receive love.
(For related topics, see: unconnected child and growing up connected)
4. Careful kids . Connected kids are less accident prone. Securely attached children do better because they have a better understanding of their own capabilities. In parent parlance, they are less likely to "do dumb things!" The organizing effect of attachment parenting helps to curb their impulses. Even children with impulsive temperaments tend to get into trouble less if they are securely attached to a primary caregiver. A child who operates from internal organization and a feeling of rightness is more likely to consider the wisdom of a feat before rushing in foolishly. They think before they act. This may be because connected kids are not internally angry. Anger adds danger to impulsivity, causing a child to override what little sense he has and plunge headfirst into trouble.
5. Confident kids . Confidence comes from two words meaning "with trust." High-need children whose parents respond freely to their needs grow up as if "trust" is their middle name. They grow up learning that it is safe to trust others, that the world is a warm and responsive place to be, that their needs will be appropriately identified and consistently met. The trust they have in caregivers translates into trust in themselves.
I felt he would never leave my arms, but when he became two, he often said, "My do it." I know this is a phrase that many mothers dread (because it takes five times as long for the child to accomplish a simple task), but to the mother of a clingy baby, this phrase is a joy. Now that Jonathan is absorbed in trying things himself, he is rapidly leaving many of his old baby needs, such as demanding to be carried everywhere and never leaving my lap. I must admit that there are times when I miss being the exclusive interest in his life. But when one of those moments arises, all I have to do is give him a big hug and he stops doing what he is doing and returns to me. Mostly, I am proud to see him growing into a happy, loving, self-confident little person, especially when I realize he has done it on his own. I have simply given him the support he needed.
6. Confident parents. Besides these "C's" for children, there is an important "C" for parents. The attachment parents developed confidence sooner. They used the basic tools of attachment parenting, but felt confident and free enough to branch out into their own style until they found what worked for them, their baby, and their lifestyle. In fact, during well-baby checkups I often asked, "Is it working?" I would advise parents to periodically take inventory of what worked and discard what didn't. What worked at one stage of development may not work in another. For example, some babies initially slept better with their parents, but became restless later on, necessitating a change in sleeping arrangements. Other babies slept better alone initially, but needed to share sleep with their parents in later months. These parents used themselves and their baby as the barometer of their parenting style, not the norms of the neighborhood.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T130600.asp
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SHUTDOWN SYNDROME
Throughout our 30 years of working with parents and babies, we have grown to appreciate the correlation between how well children thrive (emotionally and physically) and the style of parenting they receive.
click here
"You're spoiling that baby!"
First-time parents Linda and Norm brought their four-month-old high-need baby, Heather, into my office for consultation because Heather had stopped growing. Heather had previously been a happy baby, thriving on a full dose of attachment parenting. She was carried many hours a day in a baby sling, her cries were given a prompt and nurturant response, she was breastfed on cue, and she was literally in physical touch with one of her parents most of the day. The whole family was thriving and this style of parenting was working for them. Well-meaning friends convinced these parents that they were spoiling their baby, that she was manipulating them, and that Heather would grow up to be a clingy, dependent child.
Parents lost trust
Like many first-time parents, Norm and Linda lost confidence in what they were doing and yielded to the peer pressure of adopting a more restrained and distant style of parenting. They let Heather cry herself to sleep, scheduled her feedings, and for fear of spoiling, they didn't carry her as much. Over the next two months Heather went from being happy and interactive to sad and withdrawn. Her weight leveled off, and she went from the top of the growth chart to the bottom. Heather was no longer thriving, and neither were her parents.
Baby lost trust
After two months of no growth, Heather was labeled by her doctor "failure to thrive" failure to thrive and was about to undergo an extensive medical workshop. When the parents consulted me, I diagnosed the shutdown syndrome. I explained that Heather had been thriving because of their responsive style of parenting. Because of their parenting, Heather had trusted that her needs would be met and her overall physiology had been organized. In thinking they were doing the best for their infant, these parents let themselves be persuaded into another style of parenting. They unknowingly pulled the attachment plug on Heather, and the connection that had caused her to thrive was gone. A sort of baby depression resulted, and her physiologic systems slowed down. I advised the parents to return to their previous high-touch, attachment style of parenting to carry her a lot, breastfeed her on cue, and respond sensitively to her cries by day and night. Within a month Heather was again thriving.
Babies thrive when nurtured
We believe every baby has a critical level of need for touch and nurturing in order to thrive. (Thriving means not just getting bigger, but growing to one's potential, physically and emotionally.) We believe that babies have the ability to teach their parents what level of parenting they need. It's up to the parents to listen, and it's up to professionals to support the parents' confidence and not undermine it by advising a more distant style of parenting, such as "let your baby cry it out" or "you've got to put him down more." Only the baby knows his or her level of need; and the parents are the ones that are best able to read their baby's language.
Babies who are "trained" not to express their needs may appear to be docile, compliant, or "good" babies. Yet these babies could be depressed babies who are shutting down the expression of their needs, and they may become children who don't ever speak up to get their needs met and eventually become the highest-need adults.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t131200.asp
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WHAT ATTACHMENT PARENTING IS NOT
Attachment parenting is not a new style of parenting. Attachment parenting is one of the oldest ways of caring for babies. In fact, it's the way that parents for centuries have taken care of babies, until childcare advisors came on the scene and led parents to follow books instead of their babies. Picture your family on a deserted island and you've just delivered a baby. There are no books, advisors, or in-laws around to shower you with child baby- tending advice. The baby B's of attachment parenting would come naturally to you as they have other cultures who have centuries more child-rearing experience and tradition than all of us have.
click here
Attachment parenting is not indulgent parenting. You may hear or worry that being nurturing and responsive to your baby's needs might spoil your baby and set you up for being manipulated manipulated by your baby. This is why we stress that attachment parenting is responding appropriately to your baby's needs, which means knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no." Sometimes in their zeal to give children everything they need, it's easy for parents to give their children everything they want.
Attachment parenting is a question of balance �not being indulgent or permissive, yet being attentive. As you and your baby grow together, you will develop the right balance between attentive, but not indulgent. In fact, being possessive, or a "smother mother" (or father) is unfair to the child, fosters an inappropriate dependency on the parent, and hinders your child from becoming normally independent. For example, you don't need to respond to the cries of a seven-month-old baby as quickly as you would a seven-day-old baby.
As your baby grows, you become more expert in reading her cries, so you can gradually delay your response. Say, for example, you are busy in the kitchen and your seven-month-old is sitting and playing nearby and cries to be picked up. Instead of rushing to scoop your baby up, simply acknowledge your baby and give your baby "it's okay" cues. Because you and your baby are so connected, your baby can read your body language and see that you're not anxious, so you naturally give your baby the message, "No problem, baby, you can handle this." In this way, you're being a facilitator , and because of your close attachment you're actually better able to help your baby delay gratification and ease into independence.
Attachment Tip:
"It's easier for me to say 'no' to my attachment- parented child when she wants a lot of stuff, because I know I have given her so much of myself."
Attachment parenting is not permissive parenting. not control a child. Attachment parents become like gardeners: you can't control the color of the flower or the time of the year it blooms, but you can pick the weeds and prune the plant so that the flower blooms more beautifully. That's shaping. Attachment parents become master behavior-shapers.
Attachment mothering is not martyr mothering. Don't think that AP means baby pulls mommy's string and she jumps. Because of the mutual sensitivity that develops between attached parents and their attached children, parents' response time can gradually lengthen as mother enables the older baby to discover that he does not need instant gratification. Yes, you give a lot of yourself in those early months, but you get back a lot more in return. Attachment-parenting is the best investment you'll ever make -- the best long- term investment you'll ever make, in your child, and yourselves.
"Won't a mother feel tied down by constant baby-tending?"
Mothers do need baby breaks. This is why shared parenting by the father and other trusted caregivers is important. But with attachment parenting, instead of feeling tied down, mothers feel tied together with their babies. Attachment mothers we interviewed described their feelings: "I feel so connected with my baby." "I feel right when with her, not right when we're apart." "I feel fulfilled."
Remember, too, that attachment parenting, by mellowing a child's behavior, makes it easier to go places with your child. You don't have to feel tied down to your house or apartment and a lifestyle that includes only babies.
Attachment parenting is not hard. Attachment parenting may sound like one big give-a-thon. Initially, there is a lot of giving. This is a fact of new parent life. Babies are takers, and parents are givers. One of the payoffs you will soon experience of attachment parenting is one we call mutual giving � the more you give to your baby, the more baby gives back to you. This is how you grow to enjoy your child and feel more competent as a parent. Remember, your baby is not just a passive player in the parenting game. The infant takes an active part in shaping your attitudes, helping you make wise decisions as you become an astute baby-reader.
Attachment parenting may sound difficult, but in the long run it's actually the easiest parenting style. What is "hard" about parenting is the feeling "I just don't know what my baby wants" or "I just can't seem to get through to her." If you feel you really know your baby and have a handle on the relationship, parenting is easier and more relaxed. There is great comfort in feeling connected to your baby. Attachment parenting is the best way we know to get connected. True, this style of parenting takes a tremendous amount of patience and stamina, but it's worth it. Attachment parenting early on makes later parenting easier, not only in infancy but in childhood and teenage years. The ability to read and respond to your baby, carries over into the ability to get behind the eyes of your growing child and see things from her point of view. When you truly know your child, parenting is easier at all ages.
Attachment parenting is not rigid. On the contrary, it has options and is very flexible. Attachment mothers speak of a flow between themselves and their baby; a flow of thoughts and feelings that help a mother pull from her many options the right choice at the right time when confronted with the daily "what do I do now?" baby-care decisions. The connected pair mirror each other's feelings. The baby perceives himself by how the mother reflects his value. This insight is most noticeable in the mother's ability to get behind the eyes of her child and read her child's feelings during discipline decisions. One day our two-year-old, Lauren, impulsively grabbed a carton of milk out of the refrigerator and spilled it on the floor. As Lauren was about to disintegrate, Martha mellowed out the situation and preserved the fragile feelings of a sensitive child and prevented the angry feelings of inconvenienced parents. When I asked how she managed to handle things so calmly, she said, "I asked myself if I were Lauren, how would I want my mother to respond?"
Attachment parenting is not spoiling a child. . New parents ask, "Won't holding our baby a lot, responding to cries, nursing our baby on cue, and even sleeping with our baby create an overly dependent manipulative child?" Our answer is an emphatic no. In fact, both experience and research have shown the opposite. Attachment fosters independence. Attachment parenting implies responding appropriately to your baby; spoiling suggests responding inappropriately. The spoiling theory began in the early part of this century when parents turned over their intuitive childrearing to "experts"; unfortunately, the childcare thinkers at the time advocated restraint and detachment (i.e., formulas for childcare), along with scientifically produced artificial baby milk � "formula" for feeding babies. They felt that if you held your baby a lot, fed on cue, and responded to cries, you would spoil and create a clingy, dependent baby. There was no scientific basis to this spoiling theory, just unwarranted fears and opinions. We would like to put the spoiling theory on the shelf � to spoil forever.
Research has finally proven what mothers have long suspected: You cannot spoil a baby by attachment. Spoiling means leaving something alone, such as putting food on the shelf to spoil. The attachment style of parenting does not mean overindulgence or inappropriate dependency. The possessive parent, or "hover mother," is one who keeps an infant from doing what he needs to do because of her own insecure needs. This has a detrimental effect on both the infants and the parents. Attachment differs from prolonged dependency. Attachment enhances development; prolonged dependency will hinder development.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t130400.asp
= = =
<>< <>< <><
Anyway, here's some of what Dr. Sears says on his site.
= = =
SPOILING
Few parents make it through their offspring's babyhood without being told that all their efforts to nurture and respond to their baby will surely spoil her. And if it's not spoiling that they're warned against, they're told not to let themselves be "manipulated" by baby. Attachment parenting is not the same as indulgently giving your child everything she asks for. We stress that parents should respond appropriately to their baby's needs, which means knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no." Sometimes in their zeal to give children everything they need, it's easy for parents to give their children everything they want, and this is indeed harmful. Parents must learn to distinguish between a child's needs and a child's wants.
click here
Yet, telling the difference between needs and wants is not a problem that parents have to wrestle with during their early months of parenting. In the beginning, wants and needs are the same. During the first several months of life, a baby's wants are a baby's needs. A consistent "yes" response teaches babies trust, which will make them more accepting of "no" later on, when they start wanting things they should not have. If you learn to know your baby by responding readily to his needs in the early months, you'll have a good sense of when it's appropriate to say no later on.
New parents often ask, "Won't holding our baby a lot, responding to cries, nursing our baby on cue, and even sleeping with our baby spoil her?" Or they ask if this kind of parenting will create an overly dependent, manipulative child? Our answer is an emphatic no. In fact, both experience and research have shown the opposite. Attachment fosters eventual interdependence. A child whose needs are met predictably and dependably does not have to whine and cry and worry about getting his parents to do what he needs.
Dr. Sears suggests: Attachment parenting implies responding appropriately to your baby; spoiling suggests responding inappropriately.
The spoiling theory seems scientific. At least it seemed logical to the childcare "experts" who popularized this idea, beginning in the early part of the 20th century. They thought that if you rewarded crying by picking the baby up, he would cry more, so that he would get picked up more. It turns out that human behavior is a little more complicated than this. It is true that if you carry a newborn baby in your arms much of the time, the baby will protest when put down in the crib. This baby has learned how to feel right, and she lets you know when she needs help getting that feeling back. However, in the long run, this rightness within her will make her less likely to cry for attention. She gets used to feeling right most of the time, and her parent's responsiveness shows her how to recognize her own needs. Spoiling happens when a child is put on the shelf, left alone, forgotten about--the way that food spoils. There was no scientific basis for this spoiling theory, just unwarranted fears and opinions. We would like to put the spoiling theory on the shelf � to spoil forever.
The attachment style of parenting is not the same as overindulging kids or creating inappropriate dependency. The possessive parent, or "hover mother," is constantly in a flurry around her child, doing everything for him because of her own fears and insecurity. Her child may become overly dependent, because he has been kept from doing what he needs to do. An attached mother recognizes when it is appropriate to let her child struggle a bit, experience some frustration, so that he can grow. This is why we continually emphasize putting balance in your chosen parenting style. Attachment differs from dependency. Attachment enhances development; prolonged dependency will hinder development.
Science Says
Attachment studies have spoiled the spoiling theory. Researchers Drs. Bell and Ainsworth at John Hopkins University studied two sets of parents and their children. Group A were attachment-parented babies. These babies were securely attached, the products of responsive parenting. Group B babies were parented n a more restrained way, with a set schedule and given a less intuitive and nurturing response to their cues. All these babies were tracked for at least a year. Which group do you think eventually turned out to be the most independent? Group A, the securely attached babies. Researchers who have studied the affects of parenting styles on children's later outcome have concluded, to put it simply, that the spoiling theory is utter nonsense.
Pick them up quickly and they'll get down quickly. Or, as one sensitive mother of a well-attached child said proudly, "He's not spoiled; he's perfectly fresh!" Spoiling does become an issue a few years from now, when overindulgence or permissiveness signals a parent's inability to set limits and provide boundaries. This happens most often in children who are materially bonded or whose parents are still trapped in dysfunctional patterns from their own childhood.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t100200.asp
= = =
THE PAYOFF: OUR 6 OBSERVATIONS ON HOW AP KIDS TURN OUT
Attachment tip: The six baby B's translate into the six childhood C's.
click here
Note: Parents should not take all the credit or all the blame for the person their child later becomes. You do your best to raise your children with all the tools and resources you have at that time. The rest is up to the child. While there is no perfect correlation between what parents do in those early years and the outcome of their children, in over thirty in pediatric practice, I have observed that AP kids share many of these features:
1. Caring kids. Attachment-parented kids show empathy. These are kids who care (e.g., care-full). From birth on, these children were on the receiving end of nurturing. Someone cared for then. Caring, giving, listening, and responding to needs became the family norm, and these qualities became part of the child. The child went from receiver to giver. When friends are hurting, these children rush to help. These are compassionate kids who hurt when other people hurt.
Studies on troubled teens and psychopaths have shown that these persons have one abnormal feature in common: a lack of caring. They feel no remorse for what they do. They act without considering the effects of their behavior on others. Not so the children who are the product of attachment parenting. These children consider the feelings of others before they act. They care about how their actions affect other people. They have a healthy sense of guilt, feeling wrong when they act wrongly and feeling good when they should. Connected kids care. (For more information see Raising a Moral Child)
2. Compassionate kids. Because these children are on the receiving end of sensitive parenting, they become sensitive themselves. These children grow up with a deep inner sense of rightness. They are keenly aware when this rightness is upset and they strive to bring things back into balance.
I watch these children in playgroups. These early takers have become good givers. They actually share willingly � something that is difficult for many children. In playgroups, they are concerned about the needs and rights of their peers as they've seen that modeled.
These children are more sensitive to their friends and their parents. Attachment-parented (especially high-need) children are supersensitive to your moods. When you feel stressed, they act stressed. Eventually, this sensitivity becomes an asset, so that when you feel bad they act their best in order to help you feel better. I have witnessed our own children and others trying to console their upset parents, "Don't cry, Mommy, I'll help you" or "It's okay, Daddy, I love you." Watching a sensitive three-year-old console the adult she loves is one of the most beautiful payoffs you will ever witness. No adult therapist could ever offer words that have such impact as those that naturally flow from the heart of a sensitive child.
As an added bonus, because you were sensitive to your child, you will find your overall sensitivity to everyone and everything else goes up a notch. The ability to get behind the eyes of your child, to see things from his viewpoint, to think "kid first" carries over to your sensitivity to your mate, your friends, your job, and your overall social awareness.
3. Connected kids. AP kids develop the quality of intimacy . Attachment-parented children have the ability to feel close to another person, because these "Velcro babies" spent the most formative months of their lives in arms and at breast. These kids have learned to bond to people rather than to things. They become high-touch persons even in a high-tech world.
Therapists whose offices are filled with former high-need children who didn't get responsive parenting tell us that most of their energy is spent in helping these persons get close to someone. These people have difficulty getting connected. They do not have the capacity for feeling close. Not so high-need children who are the product of high-giving parents. These children thrive on interpersonal relationships. Being connected is their norm. The AP infant is more likely to become the child who forms deep friendships with peers and the adult who enjoys deep intimacy with a mate. These are deep children, capable of deep relationships. Because they were close to their parents and caregivers, they become capable of strong attachments. Intimacy becomes their standard for future relationships. These children are affectionate. The connected child has learned to give and receive love.
(For related topics, see: unconnected child and growing up connected)
4. Careful kids . Connected kids are less accident prone. Securely attached children do better because they have a better understanding of their own capabilities. In parent parlance, they are less likely to "do dumb things!" The organizing effect of attachment parenting helps to curb their impulses. Even children with impulsive temperaments tend to get into trouble less if they are securely attached to a primary caregiver. A child who operates from internal organization and a feeling of rightness is more likely to consider the wisdom of a feat before rushing in foolishly. They think before they act. This may be because connected kids are not internally angry. Anger adds danger to impulsivity, causing a child to override what little sense he has and plunge headfirst into trouble.
5. Confident kids . Confidence comes from two words meaning "with trust." High-need children whose parents respond freely to their needs grow up as if "trust" is their middle name. They grow up learning that it is safe to trust others, that the world is a warm and responsive place to be, that their needs will be appropriately identified and consistently met. The trust they have in caregivers translates into trust in themselves.
I felt he would never leave my arms, but when he became two, he often said, "My do it." I know this is a phrase that many mothers dread (because it takes five times as long for the child to accomplish a simple task), but to the mother of a clingy baby, this phrase is a joy. Now that Jonathan is absorbed in trying things himself, he is rapidly leaving many of his old baby needs, such as demanding to be carried everywhere and never leaving my lap. I must admit that there are times when I miss being the exclusive interest in his life. But when one of those moments arises, all I have to do is give him a big hug and he stops doing what he is doing and returns to me. Mostly, I am proud to see him growing into a happy, loving, self-confident little person, especially when I realize he has done it on his own. I have simply given him the support he needed.
6. Confident parents. Besides these "C's" for children, there is an important "C" for parents. The attachment parents developed confidence sooner. They used the basic tools of attachment parenting, but felt confident and free enough to branch out into their own style until they found what worked for them, their baby, and their lifestyle. In fact, during well-baby checkups I often asked, "Is it working?" I would advise parents to periodically take inventory of what worked and discard what didn't. What worked at one stage of development may not work in another. For example, some babies initially slept better with their parents, but became restless later on, necessitating a change in sleeping arrangements. Other babies slept better alone initially, but needed to share sleep with their parents in later months. These parents used themselves and their baby as the barometer of their parenting style, not the norms of the neighborhood.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T130600.asp
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SHUTDOWN SYNDROME
Throughout our 30 years of working with parents and babies, we have grown to appreciate the correlation between how well children thrive (emotionally and physically) and the style of parenting they receive.
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"You're spoiling that baby!"
First-time parents Linda and Norm brought their four-month-old high-need baby, Heather, into my office for consultation because Heather had stopped growing. Heather had previously been a happy baby, thriving on a full dose of attachment parenting. She was carried many hours a day in a baby sling, her cries were given a prompt and nurturant response, she was breastfed on cue, and she was literally in physical touch with one of her parents most of the day. The whole family was thriving and this style of parenting was working for them. Well-meaning friends convinced these parents that they were spoiling their baby, that she was manipulating them, and that Heather would grow up to be a clingy, dependent child.
Parents lost trust
Like many first-time parents, Norm and Linda lost confidence in what they were doing and yielded to the peer pressure of adopting a more restrained and distant style of parenting. They let Heather cry herself to sleep, scheduled her feedings, and for fear of spoiling, they didn't carry her as much. Over the next two months Heather went from being happy and interactive to sad and withdrawn. Her weight leveled off, and she went from the top of the growth chart to the bottom. Heather was no longer thriving, and neither were her parents.
Baby lost trust
After two months of no growth, Heather was labeled by her doctor "failure to thrive" failure to thrive and was about to undergo an extensive medical workshop. When the parents consulted me, I diagnosed the shutdown syndrome. I explained that Heather had been thriving because of their responsive style of parenting. Because of their parenting, Heather had trusted that her needs would be met and her overall physiology had been organized. In thinking they were doing the best for their infant, these parents let themselves be persuaded into another style of parenting. They unknowingly pulled the attachment plug on Heather, and the connection that had caused her to thrive was gone. A sort of baby depression resulted, and her physiologic systems slowed down. I advised the parents to return to their previous high-touch, attachment style of parenting to carry her a lot, breastfeed her on cue, and respond sensitively to her cries by day and night. Within a month Heather was again thriving.
Babies thrive when nurtured
We believe every baby has a critical level of need for touch and nurturing in order to thrive. (Thriving means not just getting bigger, but growing to one's potential, physically and emotionally.) We believe that babies have the ability to teach their parents what level of parenting they need. It's up to the parents to listen, and it's up to professionals to support the parents' confidence and not undermine it by advising a more distant style of parenting, such as "let your baby cry it out" or "you've got to put him down more." Only the baby knows his or her level of need; and the parents are the ones that are best able to read their baby's language.
Babies who are "trained" not to express their needs may appear to be docile, compliant, or "good" babies. Yet these babies could be depressed babies who are shutting down the expression of their needs, and they may become children who don't ever speak up to get their needs met and eventually become the highest-need adults.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t131200.asp
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WHAT ATTACHMENT PARENTING IS NOT
Attachment parenting is not a new style of parenting. Attachment parenting is one of the oldest ways of caring for babies. In fact, it's the way that parents for centuries have taken care of babies, until childcare advisors came on the scene and led parents to follow books instead of their babies. Picture your family on a deserted island and you've just delivered a baby. There are no books, advisors, or in-laws around to shower you with child baby- tending advice. The baby B's of attachment parenting would come naturally to you as they have other cultures who have centuries more child-rearing experience and tradition than all of us have.
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Attachment parenting is not indulgent parenting. You may hear or worry that being nurturing and responsive to your baby's needs might spoil your baby and set you up for being manipulated manipulated by your baby. This is why we stress that attachment parenting is responding appropriately to your baby's needs, which means knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no." Sometimes in their zeal to give children everything they need, it's easy for parents to give their children everything they want.
Attachment parenting is a question of balance �not being indulgent or permissive, yet being attentive. As you and your baby grow together, you will develop the right balance between attentive, but not indulgent. In fact, being possessive, or a "smother mother" (or father) is unfair to the child, fosters an inappropriate dependency on the parent, and hinders your child from becoming normally independent. For example, you don't need to respond to the cries of a seven-month-old baby as quickly as you would a seven-day-old baby.
As your baby grows, you become more expert in reading her cries, so you can gradually delay your response. Say, for example, you are busy in the kitchen and your seven-month-old is sitting and playing nearby and cries to be picked up. Instead of rushing to scoop your baby up, simply acknowledge your baby and give your baby "it's okay" cues. Because you and your baby are so connected, your baby can read your body language and see that you're not anxious, so you naturally give your baby the message, "No problem, baby, you can handle this." In this way, you're being a facilitator , and because of your close attachment you're actually better able to help your baby delay gratification and ease into independence.
Attachment Tip:
"It's easier for me to say 'no' to my attachment- parented child when she wants a lot of stuff, because I know I have given her so much of myself."
Attachment parenting is not permissive parenting. not control a child. Attachment parents become like gardeners: you can't control the color of the flower or the time of the year it blooms, but you can pick the weeds and prune the plant so that the flower blooms more beautifully. That's shaping. Attachment parents become master behavior-shapers.
Attachment mothering is not martyr mothering. Don't think that AP means baby pulls mommy's string and she jumps. Because of the mutual sensitivity that develops between attached parents and their attached children, parents' response time can gradually lengthen as mother enables the older baby to discover that he does not need instant gratification. Yes, you give a lot of yourself in those early months, but you get back a lot more in return. Attachment-parenting is the best investment you'll ever make -- the best long- term investment you'll ever make, in your child, and yourselves.
"Won't a mother feel tied down by constant baby-tending?"
Mothers do need baby breaks. This is why shared parenting by the father and other trusted caregivers is important. But with attachment parenting, instead of feeling tied down, mothers feel tied together with their babies. Attachment mothers we interviewed described their feelings: "I feel so connected with my baby." "I feel right when with her, not right when we're apart." "I feel fulfilled."
Remember, too, that attachment parenting, by mellowing a child's behavior, makes it easier to go places with your child. You don't have to feel tied down to your house or apartment and a lifestyle that includes only babies.
Attachment parenting is not hard. Attachment parenting may sound like one big give-a-thon. Initially, there is a lot of giving. This is a fact of new parent life. Babies are takers, and parents are givers. One of the payoffs you will soon experience of attachment parenting is one we call mutual giving � the more you give to your baby, the more baby gives back to you. This is how you grow to enjoy your child and feel more competent as a parent. Remember, your baby is not just a passive player in the parenting game. The infant takes an active part in shaping your attitudes, helping you make wise decisions as you become an astute baby-reader.
Attachment parenting may sound difficult, but in the long run it's actually the easiest parenting style. What is "hard" about parenting is the feeling "I just don't know what my baby wants" or "I just can't seem to get through to her." If you feel you really know your baby and have a handle on the relationship, parenting is easier and more relaxed. There is great comfort in feeling connected to your baby. Attachment parenting is the best way we know to get connected. True, this style of parenting takes a tremendous amount of patience and stamina, but it's worth it. Attachment parenting early on makes later parenting easier, not only in infancy but in childhood and teenage years. The ability to read and respond to your baby, carries over into the ability to get behind the eyes of your growing child and see things from her point of view. When you truly know your child, parenting is easier at all ages.
Attachment parenting is not rigid. On the contrary, it has options and is very flexible. Attachment mothers speak of a flow between themselves and their baby; a flow of thoughts and feelings that help a mother pull from her many options the right choice at the right time when confronted with the daily "what do I do now?" baby-care decisions. The connected pair mirror each other's feelings. The baby perceives himself by how the mother reflects his value. This insight is most noticeable in the mother's ability to get behind the eyes of her child and read her child's feelings during discipline decisions. One day our two-year-old, Lauren, impulsively grabbed a carton of milk out of the refrigerator and spilled it on the floor. As Lauren was about to disintegrate, Martha mellowed out the situation and preserved the fragile feelings of a sensitive child and prevented the angry feelings of inconvenienced parents. When I asked how she managed to handle things so calmly, she said, "I asked myself if I were Lauren, how would I want my mother to respond?"
Attachment parenting is not spoiling a child. . New parents ask, "Won't holding our baby a lot, responding to cries, nursing our baby on cue, and even sleeping with our baby create an overly dependent manipulative child?" Our answer is an emphatic no. In fact, both experience and research have shown the opposite. Attachment fosters independence. Attachment parenting implies responding appropriately to your baby; spoiling suggests responding inappropriately. The spoiling theory began in the early part of this century when parents turned over their intuitive childrearing to "experts"; unfortunately, the childcare thinkers at the time advocated restraint and detachment (i.e., formulas for childcare), along with scientifically produced artificial baby milk � "formula" for feeding babies. They felt that if you held your baby a lot, fed on cue, and responded to cries, you would spoil and create a clingy, dependent baby. There was no scientific basis to this spoiling theory, just unwarranted fears and opinions. We would like to put the spoiling theory on the shelf � to spoil forever.
Research has finally proven what mothers have long suspected: You cannot spoil a baby by attachment. Spoiling means leaving something alone, such as putting food on the shelf to spoil. The attachment style of parenting does not mean overindulgence or inappropriate dependency. The possessive parent, or "hover mother," is one who keeps an infant from doing what he needs to do because of her own insecure needs. This has a detrimental effect on both the infants and the parents. Attachment differs from prolonged dependency. Attachment enhances development; prolonged dependency will hinder development.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t130400.asp
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Tuesday, November 25, 2008
To My Husband
I wanted to take this time, as I've been working through my emotions regarding Samantha's birth, to thank my husband.
Hun, you have been awesome. I appreciate everything you have done for me, and for our family. Not just in the recent weeks, but over the past 6.5 years. I am very grateful for all that you have done. I see you working day after day to provide for this family, only to come home and stay up until the wee hours of the morning studying...to continue to provide for the family and to provide us with a better life and I am amazed. I can honestly say that I do not think I would have the stamina to do what you do day after day. Thank you.
Thank you for being here for me, supporting me physically, financially, and emotionally. Thank you for being here for me to cry to as I work through the pain and grief of our daughter's birth. Thank you for getting mad with me at the way I was treated by the doctor and hospital staff. Thank you for being so good with our newest daughter, and with our older children. They love you and adore you. I can see the love and adoration in their eyes when I talk about you while you're at work. These children love their father, just as much as their father loves them. I am in a unique position to see both sides.
Thank you for everything you have done, are doing, and will do for this family.
I love you more every day. I know we have our arguments and miscommunication, but I know that at the end of the day you love me and I love you. Thank you.
Hun, you have been awesome. I appreciate everything you have done for me, and for our family. Not just in the recent weeks, but over the past 6.5 years. I am very grateful for all that you have done. I see you working day after day to provide for this family, only to come home and stay up until the wee hours of the morning studying...to continue to provide for the family and to provide us with a better life and I am amazed. I can honestly say that I do not think I would have the stamina to do what you do day after day. Thank you.
Thank you for being here for me, supporting me physically, financially, and emotionally. Thank you for being here for me to cry to as I work through the pain and grief of our daughter's birth. Thank you for getting mad with me at the way I was treated by the doctor and hospital staff. Thank you for being so good with our newest daughter, and with our older children. They love you and adore you. I can see the love and adoration in their eyes when I talk about you while you're at work. These children love their father, just as much as their father loves them. I am in a unique position to see both sides.
Thank you for everything you have done, are doing, and will do for this family.
I love you more every day. I know we have our arguments and miscommunication, but I know that at the end of the day you love me and I love you. Thank you.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Assaulted...Traumatized...Birth Rape
I feel as though I've been assaulted, abused, and raped...that something VERY important to me was stolen by an impatient dr. who may know the mechanics of birth but after more than 20 years of delivering babies is still totally clueless to the process. Birth is more than just about a happy and healthy baby. Yes...if interventions are truly needed then they are wonderful. But, with me...I'm not convinced they were. In fact, I honestly feel as though they were needlessly forced on me by a man who wanted to get home because it was Halloween. I have no doubt this man had every intention of slicing me open from the moment I stepped foot through the hospital doors. I detest this man....this man who sliced me open from hip bone to hip bone, scaring my body, and ripping my baby from my body...all to make an extra buck.
Using breathing techniques and a few minor pushes I got my baby from a -2 station to 0 station. If he had backed off, shut up, and called off his dogs (the nurses) I could have relaxed, spared my BP spike, and given birth to my baby the way that God intended.
Instead, I will never again get to experience the power of labor, of bringing forth a new life from my body. I'll never get to birth my baby in my home. I'll never have the chance to birth as God intended...and as I so STRONGLY believe in.
All because one man was impatient and had no faith in me or my body. He violated me...left me traumatized and forever changed and my body forever marred. (Seriously, my c-section scar is 8" long...by far the longest c-section scar I have EVER seen). He has left me with irreperable damage to both my body and my soul. I detest him. What was supposed to be a beautiful birth of our final child has instead left me feeling less of a woman, violated...raped of sorts.
And then the feelings that come with having a body that has failed me...2 times (well, really 3...but only 2 times that really count). I will never get to VBAC because my body can not tolerate the end stages of pregnancy. I thank God that I live in a time where my pregnancy complications can be caught and me and my babies spared, but I feel shame and heart break and heart ache from loving pregnancy and wanting to do things as close to natural as possible but knowing that because of my body I am unable to birth in the comfort of my home...in the water...in the presence of a wise, experienced midwife and the women in my life whom I love and trust.
This week has been hard for me. My emotions have overwhelmed me...overcome me...and left me battered and torn. My husband doesn't know how to help me, and the strain is great. I'm SICK of hearing, "Well, at least you have a healthy baby and that's what's important" from people. Yes, it IS important...but it is not ALL that is important. If I hear it one more time I fear I may SCREAM!!!
So, please pray that God will bring me healing in the months to come. I have already gotten involved with a group of mothers who have been through similar experiences, and the support is amazing. God has placed women in my life who are able to emotionally help me right now...but I still have a VERY long way to go towards being healed. Your prayers as I journey down this road would be appreciated. Thank you.
Using breathing techniques and a few minor pushes I got my baby from a -2 station to 0 station. If he had backed off, shut up, and called off his dogs (the nurses) I could have relaxed, spared my BP spike, and given birth to my baby the way that God intended.
Instead, I will never again get to experience the power of labor, of bringing forth a new life from my body. I'll never get to birth my baby in my home. I'll never have the chance to birth as God intended...and as I so STRONGLY believe in.
All because one man was impatient and had no faith in me or my body. He violated me...left me traumatized and forever changed and my body forever marred. (Seriously, my c-section scar is 8" long...by far the longest c-section scar I have EVER seen). He has left me with irreperable damage to both my body and my soul. I detest him. What was supposed to be a beautiful birth of our final child has instead left me feeling less of a woman, violated...raped of sorts.
And then the feelings that come with having a body that has failed me...2 times (well, really 3...but only 2 times that really count). I will never get to VBAC because my body can not tolerate the end stages of pregnancy. I thank God that I live in a time where my pregnancy complications can be caught and me and my babies spared, but I feel shame and heart break and heart ache from loving pregnancy and wanting to do things as close to natural as possible but knowing that because of my body I am unable to birth in the comfort of my home...in the water...in the presence of a wise, experienced midwife and the women in my life whom I love and trust.
This week has been hard for me. My emotions have overwhelmed me...overcome me...and left me battered and torn. My husband doesn't know how to help me, and the strain is great. I'm SICK of hearing, "Well, at least you have a healthy baby and that's what's important" from people. Yes, it IS important...but it is not ALL that is important. If I hear it one more time I fear I may SCREAM!!!
So, please pray that God will bring me healing in the months to come. I have already gotten involved with a group of mothers who have been through similar experiences, and the support is amazing. God has placed women in my life who are able to emotionally help me right now...but I still have a VERY long way to go towards being healed. Your prayers as I journey down this road would be appreciated. Thank you.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Friday, November 07, 2008
Pictures of Samantha Rose
Here she is! My family thinks she looks more like me than DH. But, she still looks like one of our children. :o)
Samantha Rose - Homebirth to C-Section
Samantha Rose - Homebirth to C-Section
Written Sunday, November 2, 2008
The short story:
Samantha Rose was born Oct. 31, 2008 at 11:44am.
8 lbs 8 oz. and 20.5" long.
I will start by saying Samantha's birth ended up being the exact opposite of what I had planned (and dreamed). Wednesday at my apt. I noticed I had a REALLY high protein count in my urine. The dip stick registered more than 2000 grams of protein in my urine. My BP, however, was good. I discussed with my midwife what the cause could be, and she thought that maybe it was some blood from my having some blood show on Saturday that was registering it, but to rest and monitor my BP through the drug store, contacting her if it went up. Honestly, this didn't sit well with me and I felt she wasn't REALLY listening to me. Given my history (having had pre-eclempsia twice before) I felt pre-e was where I was going to end up again.
Thursday, we took Heather to school, went and got Tim's paycheck, and went to a friends' house (they had picked Heather up from school for us). We all went out to lunch. On the way home, I had Tim stop by the local CVS to check my BP. This CVS had been pretty accurate through my pregnancy, but of course drug store BP checks can't be "really" counted on...just getting a vague idea. My BP registered 160/101. My heart sank and I knew where this was going. I called the birth center and my midwife told me to come in. We went home, quickly packed some hospital bags, found ppl to watch Heather and William, and headed in to the clinic. In the clinic, my BP was once again okay (while I was lying on my left side). But, I was still registering more than 2000 grams of protein in my urine. My midwife explained to me that we had two options at this point: I could either go home on STRICT bed rest and wait and see if I went into labor over the weekend, coming back in for a BP check on Monday, or go to the hospital to get checked out. (Honestly, she was rather abrupt in this discussion with us as I sat there on the couch crying, seeing my dreams for a home birth disappear...but that could be another whole post).
Tim begged me to go to the hospital and get checked out. I knew in my gut that the pre-e was back again. I'd had a few minor frontal headaches and minor visual disturbances over the early part of the week. Nothing major, but having been down this road before, I knew where we were going. I knew in my heart that I needed an OB at that point. So, we chose to go to the hospital and get checked out.
I got there and sure enough, lots of protein in my urine. BP started to climb, but wasn't really high. Given that I was 5 days from my due date, we expected an induction. The on-call Dr. ordered blood work done. He wanted me started on mag. We initially refused, knowing how mag. would effect me and the potential outcome of our labor, but decided to follow his recommendation for starting it when the labs revealed my liver and kidneys were already shutting down and my BP hadn't even started to climb yet. My doula was a nurse for almost 20 years, and she looked at the labs and agreed. It turned out, the mag. was the beginning of the end.
At midnight mag. and pit. were started. I was 80% and 1cm. A catheter was put in (b/c I can't walk while on mag). By 6am I was 3 cm. I was in a lot of pain from the catheter (not the contractions, if you can imagine). The leg message thingies they were using since I was on pit. (to prevent an embolism in my legs) actually provided me with a LOT of relief and welcome focal point for my hypnotbirthing. However, knowing where things were going and that I wasn't going to be able to use any of the positions/techniques I like to cope with hard labor, I decided to get an epidural (I totally could have gone w/o had I not had the mag..this stuff really is evil). It took and I progressed quickly from there.
I quickly reached 7cm, 100% effaced, and feeling pushy. This is where things went bad. I was weak from the mag. The nurses (I had a WICKED nurse BTW) checked me and I went from 7cm to 10 cm in one contraction so they ordered me to start pushing. I refused, insisting on breathing the baby down. She was still a -2 station, and as weak as I was on the mag. I knew I couldn't push as long as I would need to in order to birth her from a -2 station. I ignored the nurses and the chaos in the room, and focused on my doula who helped me keep my visualisations and breath her down. I got her to a 0 station in about 20 min. and was getting really tired, but could keep going. Then the Dr. came in the room. He kept ordering me to push, I kept refusing, he kept yelling at me, the nurses started yelling at me, it got really crazy and I don't remember much but mentally reaching a point where I knew I couldn't keep going. I was getting stressed and the Dr. wouldn't shut up and back off and let me do what I needed to do. My BP started to climb, Samantha's heartrate started to fall and the "C" word came out. In the end, after much refusing and pushing as hard as I could, I caved and agreed to the c-section. I knew in my heart that I could only keep going and birth my baby the way I needed to if the nurses and that darn dr. (can I use profanity here?) would back off and let me do what I needed to do.
Ladies, it gets worse from there.
I get into the OR and they top of my epidural (that had stopped working hours before...the nurse kept telling me I wasn't feeling pain but pressure and to be quiet...yes, I kid you not. I finally told her to shut up, that I'd given birth naturally before and I knew pain from pressure...that what I was feeling was pain...but that's another whole rant). Of course the Dr. was happy b/c he was getting what he wanted: an easy out since he'd been on call all day and night. The epidural didn't work. They could only numb me to my waist. They tried and tried for 30 min. but it didn't work. They needed it to go up another 4" or so. They tried a spinal, but couldn't discern spinal fluid from epidural fluid and were too afraid of doing the spinal and resulting in respiratory arrest/distress. So, general anesthesia it was.
I did get to see Tim before they put me under. They brought him in, he squeeze my hand, and we told each other that we loved each other. Then they gave me the medicine and I was out. I remember sobbing as I told him that I loved him.
The next thing I remember I was being wheeled back to my LDR room and was in a LOT of pain. I started hollering for pain meds and I was hurting. Tim says I'm a mean drunk. LOL (the only humor I could find in the situation). Samantha had been born an hour and a half before (delivered really...delivered from my unconscious body) and was screaming to nurse. I was in too much pain and begging for drugs. My mom showed her to me, and asked if i wanted to nurse her. I told her no, that I was in too much pain and afraid that I'd drop her. 30 min. later they finally got the pain under control and I was still SUPER weak from the mag. and pain meds. My doula held her to my breast for me so that I could nurse her for the first time.
Samantha latches GREAT! She nurses as though she is a 2 mo. old and is easily extracting all the colostrum from my breasts. She's making plenty of wet/dirty diapers and this has been the one blessing from it all.
I spent 24 hours on mag. following her birth. My mom stayed the night with me to help me with her (since I couldn't be alone w/ her due to the mag.) and Tim took the kids home to sleep in their own beds. This afternoon, after more than a day and a half w/o seeing my kids he was able to bring them to me and Heather and William got to meet Samantha. Heather, of course, is smitten with her little sister. William was a little frustrated that this little creature got to lie in mommy's bed but he couldn't (so my SUPER kind nurse passed Samantha off to Tim and Heather, and put William in the bed with me to snuggle).
I finally got off the mag. Saturday evening and into a room. I lost a LOT of blood during the surgery and had to receive 3 units of blood. Now that I had blood and am off the mag. and the general anesthesia is out of my system I'm feeling good. I never thought a c-section recover could be so painless. I'm sore (I feel like I got kicked by a Clydesdale, LOL) but I feel good. Samantha is nursing GREAT and looooooves the boob. She won't sleep unless she's in her mommy's arms (just like William). She is MUCH lighter in complexion than Heather and William and really resembles me (my sister said that I finally had a child that looks like me, LOL).
Anyway, this is the story of how my dreams of a homebirth ended up in my worst nightmare: a c-section under general anesthesia.
Thoughts as of November 7, 2008 - 1 week postpartum
The emotions that have come up in dealing with this have been intense. Physically I'm recovering fine, but emotionally I'm finding the recovery a LOT harder. To me, this is more than the loss of the birth I wanted, but rather the realization that I'll never experience the joy and peace of birthing my baby at home. I love pregnancy, I love labor, and I love birth. It is a very empowering thing to go through labor and to bring your baby into the world. A woman's body is so strong, and so powerful and I feel as though I was forced to be butchered and hacked open because a doctor and some nurses doubted my body and stressed me out. I know I could have refused the c-section, but with my BP climbing, and as exhausted as I was, I didn't know how much more I could handle physically. I feel like even though I never doubted my body and it's ability to birth my baby, others doubted me...others who really had control over me and the situation. I am angry at them. Very very very VERY angry at them. I am grieving the loss of birthing future children. I know that if I were to have any more children, since my body will go pre-eclemptic again I will have to have my babies by 38 weeks. No one is going to do an induction for a VBAC, even if I have a proven pelvis. The liability in this litigation happy society is too high. So I'm mourning the loss of EVER bringing forth another baby from my body. I can't even bring myself to write a letter to the hospital yet because I don't know that I can calmly and rationally write it.
Thanks for reading
Written Sunday, November 2, 2008
The short story:
Samantha Rose was born Oct. 31, 2008 at 11:44am.
8 lbs 8 oz. and 20.5" long.
I will start by saying Samantha's birth ended up being the exact opposite of what I had planned (and dreamed). Wednesday at my apt. I noticed I had a REALLY high protein count in my urine. The dip stick registered more than 2000 grams of protein in my urine. My BP, however, was good. I discussed with my midwife what the cause could be, and she thought that maybe it was some blood from my having some blood show on Saturday that was registering it, but to rest and monitor my BP through the drug store, contacting her if it went up. Honestly, this didn't sit well with me and I felt she wasn't REALLY listening to me. Given my history (having had pre-eclempsia twice before) I felt pre-e was where I was going to end up again.
Thursday, we took Heather to school, went and got Tim's paycheck, and went to a friends' house (they had picked Heather up from school for us). We all went out to lunch. On the way home, I had Tim stop by the local CVS to check my BP. This CVS had been pretty accurate through my pregnancy, but of course drug store BP checks can't be "really" counted on...just getting a vague idea. My BP registered 160/101. My heart sank and I knew where this was going. I called the birth center and my midwife told me to come in. We went home, quickly packed some hospital bags, found ppl to watch Heather and William, and headed in to the clinic. In the clinic, my BP was once again okay (while I was lying on my left side). But, I was still registering more than 2000 grams of protein in my urine. My midwife explained to me that we had two options at this point: I could either go home on STRICT bed rest and wait and see if I went into labor over the weekend, coming back in for a BP check on Monday, or go to the hospital to get checked out. (Honestly, she was rather abrupt in this discussion with us as I sat there on the couch crying, seeing my dreams for a home birth disappear...but that could be another whole post).
Tim begged me to go to the hospital and get checked out. I knew in my gut that the pre-e was back again. I'd had a few minor frontal headaches and minor visual disturbances over the early part of the week. Nothing major, but having been down this road before, I knew where we were going. I knew in my heart that I needed an OB at that point. So, we chose to go to the hospital and get checked out.
I got there and sure enough, lots of protein in my urine. BP started to climb, but wasn't really high. Given that I was 5 days from my due date, we expected an induction. The on-call Dr. ordered blood work done. He wanted me started on mag. We initially refused, knowing how mag. would effect me and the potential outcome of our labor, but decided to follow his recommendation for starting it when the labs revealed my liver and kidneys were already shutting down and my BP hadn't even started to climb yet. My doula was a nurse for almost 20 years, and she looked at the labs and agreed. It turned out, the mag. was the beginning of the end.
At midnight mag. and pit. were started. I was 80% and 1cm. A catheter was put in (b/c I can't walk while on mag). By 6am I was 3 cm. I was in a lot of pain from the catheter (not the contractions, if you can imagine). The leg message thingies they were using since I was on pit. (to prevent an embolism in my legs) actually provided me with a LOT of relief and welcome focal point for my hypnotbirthing. However, knowing where things were going and that I wasn't going to be able to use any of the positions/techniques I like to cope with hard labor, I decided to get an epidural (I totally could have gone w/o had I not had the mag..this stuff really is evil). It took and I progressed quickly from there.
I quickly reached 7cm, 100% effaced, and feeling pushy. This is where things went bad. I was weak from the mag. The nurses (I had a WICKED nurse BTW) checked me and I went from 7cm to 10 cm in one contraction so they ordered me to start pushing. I refused, insisting on breathing the baby down. She was still a -2 station, and as weak as I was on the mag. I knew I couldn't push as long as I would need to in order to birth her from a -2 station. I ignored the nurses and the chaos in the room, and focused on my doula who helped me keep my visualisations and breath her down. I got her to a 0 station in about 20 min. and was getting really tired, but could keep going. Then the Dr. came in the room. He kept ordering me to push, I kept refusing, he kept yelling at me, the nurses started yelling at me, it got really crazy and I don't remember much but mentally reaching a point where I knew I couldn't keep going. I was getting stressed and the Dr. wouldn't shut up and back off and let me do what I needed to do. My BP started to climb, Samantha's heartrate started to fall and the "C" word came out. In the end, after much refusing and pushing as hard as I could, I caved and agreed to the c-section. I knew in my heart that I could only keep going and birth my baby the way I needed to if the nurses and that darn dr. (can I use profanity here?) would back off and let me do what I needed to do.
Ladies, it gets worse from there.
I get into the OR and they top of my epidural (that had stopped working hours before...the nurse kept telling me I wasn't feeling pain but pressure and to be quiet...yes, I kid you not. I finally told her to shut up, that I'd given birth naturally before and I knew pain from pressure...that what I was feeling was pain...but that's another whole rant). Of course the Dr. was happy b/c he was getting what he wanted: an easy out since he'd been on call all day and night. The epidural didn't work. They could only numb me to my waist. They tried and tried for 30 min. but it didn't work. They needed it to go up another 4" or so. They tried a spinal, but couldn't discern spinal fluid from epidural fluid and were too afraid of doing the spinal and resulting in respiratory arrest/distress. So, general anesthesia it was.
I did get to see Tim before they put me under. They brought him in, he squeeze my hand, and we told each other that we loved each other. Then they gave me the medicine and I was out. I remember sobbing as I told him that I loved him.
The next thing I remember I was being wheeled back to my LDR room and was in a LOT of pain. I started hollering for pain meds and I was hurting. Tim says I'm a mean drunk. LOL (the only humor I could find in the situation). Samantha had been born an hour and a half before (delivered really...delivered from my unconscious body) and was screaming to nurse. I was in too much pain and begging for drugs. My mom showed her to me, and asked if i wanted to nurse her. I told her no, that I was in too much pain and afraid that I'd drop her. 30 min. later they finally got the pain under control and I was still SUPER weak from the mag. and pain meds. My doula held her to my breast for me so that I could nurse her for the first time.
Samantha latches GREAT! She nurses as though she is a 2 mo. old and is easily extracting all the colostrum from my breasts. She's making plenty of wet/dirty diapers and this has been the one blessing from it all.
I spent 24 hours on mag. following her birth. My mom stayed the night with me to help me with her (since I couldn't be alone w/ her due to the mag.) and Tim took the kids home to sleep in their own beds. This afternoon, after more than a day and a half w/o seeing my kids he was able to bring them to me and Heather and William got to meet Samantha. Heather, of course, is smitten with her little sister. William was a little frustrated that this little creature got to lie in mommy's bed but he couldn't (so my SUPER kind nurse passed Samantha off to Tim and Heather, and put William in the bed with me to snuggle).
I finally got off the mag. Saturday evening and into a room. I lost a LOT of blood during the surgery and had to receive 3 units of blood. Now that I had blood and am off the mag. and the general anesthesia is out of my system I'm feeling good. I never thought a c-section recover could be so painless. I'm sore (I feel like I got kicked by a Clydesdale, LOL) but I feel good. Samantha is nursing GREAT and looooooves the boob. She won't sleep unless she's in her mommy's arms (just like William). She is MUCH lighter in complexion than Heather and William and really resembles me (my sister said that I finally had a child that looks like me, LOL).
Anyway, this is the story of how my dreams of a homebirth ended up in my worst nightmare: a c-section under general anesthesia.
Thoughts as of November 7, 2008 - 1 week postpartum
The emotions that have come up in dealing with this have been intense. Physically I'm recovering fine, but emotionally I'm finding the recovery a LOT harder. To me, this is more than the loss of the birth I wanted, but rather the realization that I'll never experience the joy and peace of birthing my baby at home. I love pregnancy, I love labor, and I love birth. It is a very empowering thing to go through labor and to bring your baby into the world. A woman's body is so strong, and so powerful and I feel as though I was forced to be butchered and hacked open because a doctor and some nurses doubted my body and stressed me out. I know I could have refused the c-section, but with my BP climbing, and as exhausted as I was, I didn't know how much more I could handle physically. I feel like even though I never doubted my body and it's ability to birth my baby, others doubted me...others who really had control over me and the situation. I am angry at them. Very very very VERY angry at them. I am grieving the loss of birthing future children. I know that if I were to have any more children, since my body will go pre-eclemptic again I will have to have my babies by 38 weeks. No one is going to do an induction for a VBAC, even if I have a proven pelvis. The liability in this litigation happy society is too high. So I'm mourning the loss of EVER bringing forth another baby from my body. I can't even bring myself to write a letter to the hospital yet because I don't know that I can calmly and rationally write it.
Thanks for reading
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
A Vote for Obama is a Vote for Socialism
Okay, I've refrained from posting things political this entire election/campaign season, but I can't hold back any longer.
A vote for Obama is a vote for socialism.
What is socialism?
Socialism is:
1.
a political theory advocating state ownership of industry
2.
an economic system based on state ownership of capital [ant: capitalism]
or
An economic system in which the production and distribution of goods are controlled substantially by the government rather than by private enterprise, and in which cooperation rather than competition guides economic activity. There are many varieties of socialism.
Some socialists tolerate capitalism, as long as the government maintains the dominant influence over the economy; others insist on an abolition of private enterprise
This is EXACTLY what Senator Obama has been preaching this campaign in his "redistributing" the wealth.
Sen. Obama...THIS HAS BEEN TRIED AND IT HAS FAILED!!! EVERY time this theory has been tried it has failed...MISERABLY! Those countries ultimately end up a people who are socially and economically depressed. They have no freedoms unless their government gives them freedoms. Who has tried Socialism? Germany. Cuba. China. Russia (USSR). North Korea...just to name a few.
We are a country whose core values were FOUNDED upon FREEDOM! The freedom come up with an idea, run with it, and then profit from it! The government has NO RIGHT to dictate how much money you can make. Under a Socialist economy you are told how much you can make. Bill Gates will be told that he's making too much, and the woman living off of welfare having 10 kids whom she doesn't care for and refusing to work gets his money. You make too much money if you make $45K a year, so if you make more than that we're going to give your money to those who are not working.
Power corrupts.
Why the hell would we give all the power over how much money we can make into the hands of a few people??????
Our economy is struggling. Obama is offering everyone a shit sandwich, but selling it in such a light that everyone is lining up to take a bite. DON'T be one of those who fall for this tactic.
I'm sorry if this pisses people off BUT IT IS THE TRUTH! And if you can't handle the truth then remember: the Nazis were Socialists.
A vote for Obama is a vote for socialism.
What is socialism?
Socialism is:
1.
a political theory advocating state ownership of industry
2.
an economic system based on state ownership of capital [ant: capitalism]
or
An economic system in which the production and distribution of goods are controlled substantially by the government rather than by private enterprise, and in which cooperation rather than competition guides economic activity. There are many varieties of socialism.
Some socialists tolerate capitalism, as long as the government maintains the dominant influence over the economy; others insist on an abolition of private enterprise
This is EXACTLY what Senator Obama has been preaching this campaign in his "redistributing" the wealth.
Sen. Obama...THIS HAS BEEN TRIED AND IT HAS FAILED!!! EVERY time this theory has been tried it has failed...MISERABLY! Those countries ultimately end up a people who are socially and economically depressed. They have no freedoms unless their government gives them freedoms. Who has tried Socialism? Germany. Cuba. China. Russia (USSR). North Korea...just to name a few.
We are a country whose core values were FOUNDED upon FREEDOM! The freedom come up with an idea, run with it, and then profit from it! The government has NO RIGHT to dictate how much money you can make. Under a Socialist economy you are told how much you can make. Bill Gates will be told that he's making too much, and the woman living off of welfare having 10 kids whom she doesn't care for and refusing to work gets his money. You make too much money if you make $45K a year, so if you make more than that we're going to give your money to those who are not working.
Power corrupts.
Why the hell would we give all the power over how much money we can make into the hands of a few people??????
Our economy is struggling. Obama is offering everyone a shit sandwich, but selling it in such a light that everyone is lining up to take a bite. DON'T be one of those who fall for this tactic.
I'm sorry if this pisses people off BUT IT IS THE TRUTH! And if you can't handle the truth then remember: the Nazis were Socialists.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Simeon Nix
As many of y'all know I attended Bell Shoals Baptist Church when I was in high school. This church impacted me in many ways spiritually and emotionally. The people that God brought into my life during my time at this church He used to shape who I am today. One of these men was the Music Minister, Simeon Nix.
This summer the church has suffered two great losses. The first, on Mother's Day, was the loss of it's Sr. Pastor. This was not the Pastor whom I learned from during my time at this church, so I did not know this man (only of his reputation). The second was the loss of Simeon Nix.
Simeon was an amazing man. He was a big man with an even bigger heart and a love of God that was almost tangible. One of my passions (along with horses) has always been music. God gave me a great gift in music and a great passion for it. In my floundering teen years Simeon, who may not have even been aware of what he was doing, encouraged me with my music and helped me to find a way in which I could express my love of God through my music. Simeon is one of the people key in my spiritual and emotional growth through my teen years, and I was saddened to hear of his passing.
I look forward to one day seeing Simeon again, and watching him worship the Lord as he always does, but in the presence of our Lord. I pray that his wife and children are able to find peace in the months and years ahead.
This summer the church has suffered two great losses. The first, on Mother's Day, was the loss of it's Sr. Pastor. This was not the Pastor whom I learned from during my time at this church, so I did not know this man (only of his reputation). The second was the loss of Simeon Nix.
Simeon was an amazing man. He was a big man with an even bigger heart and a love of God that was almost tangible. One of my passions (along with horses) has always been music. God gave me a great gift in music and a great passion for it. In my floundering teen years Simeon, who may not have even been aware of what he was doing, encouraged me with my music and helped me to find a way in which I could express my love of God through my music. Simeon is one of the people key in my spiritual and emotional growth through my teen years, and I was saddened to hear of his passing.
I look forward to one day seeing Simeon again, and watching him worship the Lord as he always does, but in the presence of our Lord. I pray that his wife and children are able to find peace in the months and years ahead.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
HUGE Milestone
I had my home visit from my midwife today. This was a visit from one of the midwives from the birth center to come, see how to get to my home, see the layout, check and make sure I have all my supplies, see where I think I'll be wanting to do most of my laboring and where I think I might want to birth the baby, and answer any questions pertaining to either one. This visit went very well and was very productive.
The visit concluded with the midwife informing me that because I am so close to 37 weeks (I'm 36 weeks 5 days) if I were to go into labor tonight they would still be able to attend my birth. YAY! THIS is the huge milestone. So, Baby Girl can come when ever she wants now.
My Doula also thinks that I won't make it to my due date since I am already having contractions, and have been having contractions for a week and a half now. LOL We'll see! God knows when this little girl will make her arrival, and since this is probably our last baby I am content to sit back and enjoy her rolls, kicks, and punches knowing I probably won't ever get to feel another baby again.
The visit concluded with the midwife informing me that because I am so close to 37 weeks (I'm 36 weeks 5 days) if I were to go into labor tonight they would still be able to attend my birth. YAY! THIS is the huge milestone. So, Baby Girl can come when ever she wants now.
My Doula also thinks that I won't make it to my due date since I am already having contractions, and have been having contractions for a week and a half now. LOL We'll see! God knows when this little girl will make her arrival, and since this is probably our last baby I am content to sit back and enjoy her rolls, kicks, and punches knowing I probably won't ever get to feel another baby again.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Notes on Solar Power from an Engineer
My dad is an engineer for the electric company, and these are his thoughts on the use of solar power.
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I've had a few discussions lately about alternative energy. It seems that you can't go a day without hearing some environmentalist shooting off his mouth about needing to go "green" and getting off fossil fuels. Renewable energy is a noble idea but it is a long way off yet.
If you have not heard what the real cost of converting your house over to solar cell energy you might want to take a look at these facts.
The typical solar cell today has at best a 15% efficiency rating. The most efficient solar cells achieve a 40.7% rating. The cost of these experimental units are only affordable by the military and government. Go figure?! So if you really want to live in the 1800s and assume a life of crushing inconvenience read on and take a look at the real truth.
The typical solar panel contains 4 cells, and each of them can produce 0.45 volts and 100 milliamps, or 45 milliwatts. Each cell measures 2 inches by 0.5 inches. In other words, with these solar cells you can generate 45 milliwatts in one square inch (6.45 square cm). For the sake of discussion, let's assume that a panel can generate 70 milliwatts per square inch.
To calculate how many square inches of solar panel you need for a house, you need to know:
- How much power the house consumes on average.
- Where the house is located (so you can calculate mean solar
days, average rainfall, etc.). This question is impossible to
answer unless you have a specific location in mind. We'll
assume that on an average day the solar panels generate their
maximum power for 5 hours living in suntan acres.
The first question is actually pretty interesting, so let's work on it. A "typical home" in America can use either electricity or gas to provide heat for the house, hot water, the clothes dryer and the stove/oven. If you were to power a house with solar electricity, you will have to give up the use of these items and convert to gas appliances because solar electricity is so expensive, see below (note: you’re already behind the goal because the last time I checked, gas is a fossil fuel and is not a renewable resource).
This means that what you would be powering with solar electricity are things like the refrigerator, the lights, the computer, the TV, stereo equipment, motors in things like furnace fans and the washer, etc. Let's say that all of those things average out to 600 watts on average. This is probably a very conservative estimate because the power company usually estimates the average load for a typical home to be around 5 to 8 kw, but I digress. Over the course of 24 hours, you need 600 watts * 24 hours = 14,400 watt-hours per day.
From these calculations and assumptions above, we know that a solar panel can generate 70 milliwatts per square inch * 5 hours = 350 milliwatt hours per day. Therefore you need about 41,000 square inches of solar panel for the house. That's a solar panel that measures about 285 square feet (about 16' by 16'). That would cost around $16,000 right now. Then, because the sun only shines part of the time, you would need to purchase a battery bank, an inverter and regulator, a storage facility (away from the house because batteries produce hydrogen sulfide gas with is highly flammable) etc., and that can double or triple the cost of the installation.
If you want to have a small room air conditioner in your bedroom, double everything.
Because solar electricity is so expensive, you would normally go to great lengths to reduce your electricity consumption. Instead of a desktop computer and a monitor you would use a laptop computer. You would use fluorescent lights instead of incandescent. You would use a small B&W TV instead of a large color set. You would get a small, extremely efficient refrigerator. By doing these things you might be able to reduce your average power consumption to 100 watts. This would cut the size of your solar panel and its cost by a factor of 6, and this might bring it into the realm of possibility.
The thing to remember, however, is that 100 watts per hour purchased from the power grid would only cost about 24 cents a day right now, or $91 a year. That's why you don't see many solar houses unless they are in very remote locations. When it only costs about $100 a year to purchase power from the grid, it is hard to justify spending thousands of dollars on a solar system.
So before you let the next tree hugging wacko ruin your day with his guilt trip remember some of what we talked about here and go home and get you a tall glass of iced tea, kick back in your Lazyboy and watch a good football game on your 50" plasma and thank God what He has blessed you with and be prudent with all that He has given you.
<>< <>< <><
I've had a few discussions lately about alternative energy. It seems that you can't go a day without hearing some environmentalist shooting off his mouth about needing to go "green" and getting off fossil fuels. Renewable energy is a noble idea but it is a long way off yet.
If you have not heard what the real cost of converting your house over to solar cell energy you might want to take a look at these facts.
The typical solar cell today has at best a 15% efficiency rating. The most efficient solar cells achieve a 40.7% rating. The cost of these experimental units are only affordable by the military and government. Go figure?! So if you really want to live in the 1800s and assume a life of crushing inconvenience read on and take a look at the real truth.
The typical solar panel contains 4 cells, and each of them can produce 0.45 volts and 100 milliamps, or 45 milliwatts. Each cell measures 2 inches by 0.5 inches. In other words, with these solar cells you can generate 45 milliwatts in one square inch (6.45 square cm). For the sake of discussion, let's assume that a panel can generate 70 milliwatts per square inch.
To calculate how many square inches of solar panel you need for a house, you need to know:
- How much power the house consumes on average.
- Where the house is located (so you can calculate mean solar
days, average rainfall, etc.). This question is impossible to
answer unless you have a specific location in mind. We'll
assume that on an average day the solar panels generate their
maximum power for 5 hours living in suntan acres.
The first question is actually pretty interesting, so let's work on it. A "typical home" in America can use either electricity or gas to provide heat for the house, hot water, the clothes dryer and the stove/oven. If you were to power a house with solar electricity, you will have to give up the use of these items and convert to gas appliances because solar electricity is so expensive, see below (note: you’re already behind the goal because the last time I checked, gas is a fossil fuel and is not a renewable resource).
This means that what you would be powering with solar electricity are things like the refrigerator, the lights, the computer, the TV, stereo equipment, motors in things like furnace fans and the washer, etc. Let's say that all of those things average out to 600 watts on average. This is probably a very conservative estimate because the power company usually estimates the average load for a typical home to be around 5 to 8 kw, but I digress. Over the course of 24 hours, you need 600 watts * 24 hours = 14,400 watt-hours per day.
From these calculations and assumptions above, we know that a solar panel can generate 70 milliwatts per square inch * 5 hours = 350 milliwatt hours per day. Therefore you need about 41,000 square inches of solar panel for the house. That's a solar panel that measures about 285 square feet (about 16' by 16'). That would cost around $16,000 right now. Then, because the sun only shines part of the time, you would need to purchase a battery bank, an inverter and regulator, a storage facility (away from the house because batteries produce hydrogen sulfide gas with is highly flammable) etc., and that can double or triple the cost of the installation.
If you want to have a small room air conditioner in your bedroom, double everything.
Because solar electricity is so expensive, you would normally go to great lengths to reduce your electricity consumption. Instead of a desktop computer and a monitor you would use a laptop computer. You would use fluorescent lights instead of incandescent. You would use a small B&W TV instead of a large color set. You would get a small, extremely efficient refrigerator. By doing these things you might be able to reduce your average power consumption to 100 watts. This would cut the size of your solar panel and its cost by a factor of 6, and this might bring it into the realm of possibility.
The thing to remember, however, is that 100 watts per hour purchased from the power grid would only cost about 24 cents a day right now, or $91 a year. That's why you don't see many solar houses unless they are in very remote locations. When it only costs about $100 a year to purchase power from the grid, it is hard to justify spending thousands of dollars on a solar system.
So before you let the next tree hugging wacko ruin your day with his guilt trip remember some of what we talked about here and go home and get you a tall glass of iced tea, kick back in your Lazyboy and watch a good football game on your 50" plasma and thank God what He has blessed you with and be prudent with all that He has given you.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Belly Pic - 34 weeks 5 days
I have been bad about getting belly pictures taken this pregnancy. This is due to either not knowing where my camera is, or not having batteries. So, Sunday I passed the mirror in the ladies' room and decided to snap a pic w/ my cell phone. So, please excuse the poor quality...it was taken with a phone...but here I am at 34 weeks 5 days (34w5d).
Thursday, September 25, 2008
40 Days!
No, not 40 days and 40 nights of rain, but rather...40 days to my due date!
WOW! I can't believe it's so CLOSE! Little Miss is going to be here before we know it.
Of course, she decided to wake Mommy up at 4 o'clock yesterday morning with some vigorous kicking. For 3 hours she kept me awake. And when she was done...
...
...
...
...
SHE WAS TRANSVERSE!
The little stinker moved from vertex (head down) and as my darling husband puts it, "launch position" to transverse (or sideways). Her head was between 1 and 2 o'clock (on my uterus) and her little bum at around 6 or 7 o'clock.
At the ultrasound that day, she measured 36 weeks 1 day, and I was 34 weeks 1 day...and she weighs about 6 lbs (so about 65th or 70th percentile...so a good size, but not a huge size). She's long for her size. That means less room.
She has 2 weeks. 2 weeks to get back into "launch position" or my plans for a home birth, what I've fought for the entire pregnancy, go out the window as I go to a perinatologst (doctor who specializes in high risk pregnancies) and he tries an external version (manually turning the baby). If not, then I get the knife b/c there is no way that a baby can physically come out a va-jay-jay spine first.
I've been back to the chiropractor today to have her perform Webster's Technique on me. My pelvis that is usually badly misaligned but very mobile is totally frozen. my Sacrum is frozen. My Round Ligaments are pulled tight. This is probably what torqued my uterus and prompted Little Miss to flip around. So, after nice adjustment, a complimentary 15 min. prenatal massage from the massage therapist who shares the office, and a LOT of walking around, she's trying to move some more. She's been moving around all evening.
So, prayers that in the next 12 days Little Miss flips back head down are GREATLY appreciated. I REALLY don't want a c-section (the thought of the recovery terrifies me: I will have NO help from family).
But anyway, 40 days!!!!! WOW!
WOW! I can't believe it's so CLOSE! Little Miss is going to be here before we know it.
Of course, she decided to wake Mommy up at 4 o'clock yesterday morning with some vigorous kicking. For 3 hours she kept me awake. And when she was done...
...
...
...
...
SHE WAS TRANSVERSE!
The little stinker moved from vertex (head down) and as my darling husband puts it, "launch position" to transverse (or sideways). Her head was between 1 and 2 o'clock (on my uterus) and her little bum at around 6 or 7 o'clock.
At the ultrasound that day, she measured 36 weeks 1 day, and I was 34 weeks 1 day...and she weighs about 6 lbs (so about 65th or 70th percentile...so a good size, but not a huge size). She's long for her size. That means less room.
She has 2 weeks. 2 weeks to get back into "launch position" or my plans for a home birth, what I've fought for the entire pregnancy, go out the window as I go to a perinatologst (doctor who specializes in high risk pregnancies) and he tries an external version (manually turning the baby). If not, then I get the knife b/c there is no way that a baby can physically come out a va-jay-jay spine first.
I've been back to the chiropractor today to have her perform Webster's Technique on me. My pelvis that is usually badly misaligned but very mobile is totally frozen. my Sacrum is frozen. My Round Ligaments are pulled tight. This is probably what torqued my uterus and prompted Little Miss to flip around. So, after nice adjustment, a complimentary 15 min. prenatal massage from the massage therapist who shares the office, and a LOT of walking around, she's trying to move some more. She's been moving around all evening.
So, prayers that in the next 12 days Little Miss flips back head down are GREATLY appreciated. I REALLY don't want a c-section (the thought of the recovery terrifies me: I will have NO help from family).
But anyway, 40 days!!!!! WOW!
Top 10 Ways that a Hurricane is like Christmss
Top 10 Ways a Hurricane is Like Christmas
10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).
9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season
(Camping gear, flashlights).
8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for 'specials'.
6. Family coming to stay with you.
5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.
4. Buying food you don't normally buy ... and in large quantities.
3. Days off from work.
2. Candles.
1. At some point you know you will have a tree in your house!
10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).
9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season
(Camping gear, flashlights).
8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for 'specials'.
6. Family coming to stay with you.
5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.
4. Buying food you don't normally buy ... and in large quantities.
3. Days off from work.
2. Candles.
1. At some point you know you will have a tree in your house!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
How Do I Deal with the Pain?
Some recent events in my life have left me hurt, confused, and irritated about friends, friendship, life, and people in general.
I don't understand how a person can be close to another person for years, and then after receiving help bite the proverbial hand that destroyed it's finances to try and help them. Make accusations on events and then, when meeting the person's other friends, use them and hurt them and not see it. The very things this friend accused the person of doing, she is now doing TO that person, and is placing the now mutual friends in a hard spot with her pain, selfishness, and immaturity. The degree of her immatuirty has reached a new level in that she doesn't even call me any more unless she needs something from me. No calls to say hi, no calls to see how me or my pregnancy is progressing, no calls unless SHE needs something from me.
This person is very needy, and is behaving as a child in an attempt to get attention. As a result, her children (who are very very badly behaved themselves) are picking up and learning from and mimicking the behavior that they see in their mother (and father).
As a result of this selfish behavior she is hurting a friend very close to the me. How does one cope with the pain?
If the pain were limited to me, I'd just stop contact, cut ties, cut my losses, grieve, and move on. I can't do this, though, when I see my other friend being hurt. This other friend is placed in the middle caught between me and my (former) friend, her marriage, family, and health are all being hurt. Seeing this pain, and being unable to help in any way, is very hard for me and it makes the huge knife in my back twist further and further into my back. If my (former) friend wanted to hurt me, this is a very good way of doing it. The only way for me to protect myself from the pain (or the unnecissary rise in blood pressure) is to cut ties with my other friend, and I don't want to do that. I love this person SO much and hate seeing her being harmed by the selfishness exhibited by the other former friend.
How do I cope with the pain? How do I release the deep pain that I am experiencing without hurting anyone else in the process? How do I vent and cope and heal without having a rise in my blood pressure and having another child born prematurely?
I can use the prayers of those who love me right now, as well as advice on how to deal with my deep, deep pain. I know this will take years to totally heal, if it ever does, but right now I just need to know how to move forward and release all the pain I'm feeling.
I don't understand how a person can be close to another person for years, and then after receiving help bite the proverbial hand that destroyed it's finances to try and help them. Make accusations on events and then, when meeting the person's other friends, use them and hurt them and not see it. The very things this friend accused the person of doing, she is now doing TO that person, and is placing the now mutual friends in a hard spot with her pain, selfishness, and immaturity. The degree of her immatuirty has reached a new level in that she doesn't even call me any more unless she needs something from me. No calls to say hi, no calls to see how me or my pregnancy is progressing, no calls unless SHE needs something from me.
This person is very needy, and is behaving as a child in an attempt to get attention. As a result, her children (who are very very badly behaved themselves) are picking up and learning from and mimicking the behavior that they see in their mother (and father).
As a result of this selfish behavior she is hurting a friend very close to the me. How does one cope with the pain?
If the pain were limited to me, I'd just stop contact, cut ties, cut my losses, grieve, and move on. I can't do this, though, when I see my other friend being hurt. This other friend is placed in the middle caught between me and my (former) friend, her marriage, family, and health are all being hurt. Seeing this pain, and being unable to help in any way, is very hard for me and it makes the huge knife in my back twist further and further into my back. If my (former) friend wanted to hurt me, this is a very good way of doing it. The only way for me to protect myself from the pain (or the unnecissary rise in blood pressure) is to cut ties with my other friend, and I don't want to do that. I love this person SO much and hate seeing her being harmed by the selfishness exhibited by the other former friend.
How do I cope with the pain? How do I release the deep pain that I am experiencing without hurting anyone else in the process? How do I vent and cope and heal without having a rise in my blood pressure and having another child born prematurely?
I can use the prayers of those who love me right now, as well as advice on how to deal with my deep, deep pain. I know this will take years to totally heal, if it ever does, but right now I just need to know how to move forward and release all the pain I'm feeling.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Singing Obama
This is funny. I could be done with any politician and it'd be equally funny.
So, enjoy the creative genius of whomever did this. LOL
So, enjoy the creative genius of whomever did this. LOL
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Powerful Video - on Obama's Politics
The more I learn about this man, the more I fear him. Not dislike him (I dislike Mrs. Clinton, I fear Mr. Obama) but fear him. I was sent this video on YouTube and watched it. I'm posting it here as well, but you have to click play to view it so if you choose not to, that's fine. It prompted me to do more digging on the topic. I have learned over the years that there is so much swing one way or another in politics that it's hard to get an "unbiased" truth. In the course of my digging I learned that this video is correct in that He did not vote to ban partial birth abortion. However, he also did not vote a direct "no." He voted "present" which is essentially a "no" vote, but allows him the freedom to say politically that he did not ever vote against abortion. Even Mrs. Clinton voted against partial birth abortion...and yet the man campaigning for our vote for President of the Free World refused to back this law.
Some argue that sending troops off to war is murder, and how can someone support that and not a woman's right to choose? I'm not going to get into the "she gave up her rights when she had sex" arguments, but I am going to say this. As a Christian.
Biblically, war is Godly. God says, "there is a time for peace and a time for war". (Ecclesiastes 3:8) God also says multiple times that life begins at conception.
Jeremiah 1:5 5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
Psalms 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
Isiah 44:2 This is what the LORD says he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you: Do not be afraid, O Jacob, my servant, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.
Isiah 44:24 "This is what the LORD says your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself
Finally, those who are dying in war are doing so out of their CHOICE and are choosing to protect us and our freedoms. These babies that are dying didn't have the choice to be conceived..to be born...or to die. I don't think Roe V. Wade will ever be overturned...but I can not see how leaving a living, breathing, baby to die (especially alone in a cold room) is moral and does not bring God to tears. As long as people continue to oppose what we know to be Biblically immoral, and we continue to praise God, and pray for this country, and seek God's will, I believe he will continue to grant us his hand of protection. But looking at how many people want to obliterate us (mostly Islamic extremists) I see how easily we would be living under oppression and fearing for our lives if God chose to remove that hand. While I may not be thrilled with Mr. McCain and may of his choices or stances, I see a vote for him being a vote to keep God in our country. I will continue to pray for all the candidates, all of our government leaders, for this country, and for the physical and spiritual safety of my children.
Some argue that sending troops off to war is murder, and how can someone support that and not a woman's right to choose? I'm not going to get into the "she gave up her rights when she had sex" arguments, but I am going to say this. As a Christian.
Biblically, war is Godly. God says, "there is a time for peace and a time for war". (Ecclesiastes 3:8) God also says multiple times that life begins at conception.
Jeremiah 1:5 5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
Psalms 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
Isiah 44:2 This is what the LORD says he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you: Do not be afraid, O Jacob, my servant, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.
Isiah 44:24 "This is what the LORD says your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself
Finally, those who are dying in war are doing so out of their CHOICE and are choosing to protect us and our freedoms. These babies that are dying didn't have the choice to be conceived..to be born...or to die. I don't think Roe V. Wade will ever be overturned...but I can not see how leaving a living, breathing, baby to die (especially alone in a cold room) is moral and does not bring God to tears. As long as people continue to oppose what we know to be Biblically immoral, and we continue to praise God, and pray for this country, and seek God's will, I believe he will continue to grant us his hand of protection. But looking at how many people want to obliterate us (mostly Islamic extremists) I see how easily we would be living under oppression and fearing for our lives if God chose to remove that hand. While I may not be thrilled with Mr. McCain and may of his choices or stances, I see a vote for him being a vote to keep God in our country. I will continue to pray for all the candidates, all of our government leaders, for this country, and for the physical and spiritual safety of my children.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The Cost of Cloth v. Disposables
Someone asked me what the cost of cloth diapering is compared to the cloth of disposables. So, I finally sat down and figured it out. I was floored. Here's what I told her:
<>< <>< <><
The price can vary depending upon what system you want to use. There are various ways of cloth diapering, from cheap (but not as easy) to easy (but not as cheap). It all depends upon how much you want to spend. :o)
Prefolds - these are the cheapest cloth diapers to use. You'd need 3 dozen preemie, 2 dozen infant, and 2 dozen premium diapers. However, for the first 4-6 months you only need the preemie and infant. The preemies run about $11-$12 a dozen, and the infants about $18-$25 a dozen. You'll need about 6-8 covers per size, newborn (NB), Small (SM), Medium (MD), and Large (LG). But, again, the NB and SM will get you to about 4-6 months, giving you time to buy the next size (Premium prefolds and medium covers). You can get ProRaps for about $4.50 each if you call the 800 number in the FAQ section of the link in my siggy. You're also going to want about 3-4 snappi's (these are used instead of diaper pins, and are a one-time investment). They run about $2.50 each. So, to start, you're looking at:
Preemie Prefolds - $33
NB Covers - $18
Snappis - $10
This will get you through the first 4-6 weeks, so you'll want to order these first and order the infant and SM asap.
2 Dozen Infant - $40-$50
SM Covers - $10
The easiest method is to use all AIOs or the very popular Fuzzi Bunz (a pocket diaper). These are pricey, running $20 each. Again, you'll want 3 dozen smalls, and 2-3 dozen medium and larges. The thing about the mediums is they stay in the forever. My 2.5 yr old only started to fit into the Larges about a month ago, and he still wears the mediums. You can also find packages online where they have sets of 1-2-3 dozen and the price per diaper is discounted a little. You can also buy packages of seconds (they have some small flaw but are perfectly functional) discounted even further. For instance, www.abbyslane.com has 24 fuzzi bunz for $430. However, if you join her Yahoo! email group you can get a discount code for 5% off of your purchase, bringing the 24 diapers down to $409.26 However, you'd need to spend this for each size, bringing it up to about $1300 total. You can recover a lot of this (half or more) by selling off each size as your baby outgrows them, as they hold their value and are highly sought after. www.diaperswappers.com is a good place to buy and sell used diapers.
There is a method that is between the two above methods: BumGenius One-Size diapers. They fit from birth to 35 lbs (yes, my 2.5 yr old can still wear them, as can my 4 yr old...yes she's potty trained, she just wanted one on one day, LOL) Again, you can buy them at www.abbyslane.com You'd want 3 dozen of these (to prevent too much wear and tear over the years and because a newborn will need closer to 3 dozen diaper to get through 2 days between washings). They run $613.20 before her discount for 36 diapers (ordering a set of 30 and a set of 6) and $582.54 after the discount.
Compared to disposables, that run about $0.25 - $0.35 per diaper. A newborn will use about 15-18 diapers a day the first 2 months, averaging 960 diapers in the first 2 months for a cost of: $288 (at $0.30 per diaper in the current economy). From 8 weeks to about 9 months baby will use about 9-12 diapers per day, and the diaper packages go down to about 32 diapers per package. So, about $823 for those 7 months. From 9 months to 24 months they'll use about 6-9 diapers a day (depending upon how often baby pees)so about $882 for those 15 months. IF your child potty learns at 2, you're looking at a total of: $1993 for two years.
If your child doesn't potty learn until 3 then you're looking at an additional $705 bringing the total up to: $2698 for 3 years of diapers that end up in a land fill for 500 years.
<>< <>< <><
The price can vary depending upon what system you want to use. There are various ways of cloth diapering, from cheap (but not as easy) to easy (but not as cheap). It all depends upon how much you want to spend. :o)
Prefolds - these are the cheapest cloth diapers to use. You'd need 3 dozen preemie, 2 dozen infant, and 2 dozen premium diapers. However, for the first 4-6 months you only need the preemie and infant. The preemies run about $11-$12 a dozen, and the infants about $18-$25 a dozen. You'll need about 6-8 covers per size, newborn (NB), Small (SM), Medium (MD), and Large (LG). But, again, the NB and SM will get you to about 4-6 months, giving you time to buy the next size (Premium prefolds and medium covers). You can get ProRaps for about $4.50 each if you call the 800 number in the FAQ section of the link in my siggy. You're also going to want about 3-4 snappi's (these are used instead of diaper pins, and are a one-time investment). They run about $2.50 each. So, to start, you're looking at:
Preemie Prefolds - $33
NB Covers - $18
Snappis - $10
This will get you through the first 4-6 weeks, so you'll want to order these first and order the infant and SM asap.
2 Dozen Infant - $40-$50
SM Covers - $10
The easiest method is to use all AIOs or the very popular Fuzzi Bunz (a pocket diaper). These are pricey, running $20 each. Again, you'll want 3 dozen smalls, and 2-3 dozen medium and larges. The thing about the mediums is they stay in the forever. My 2.5 yr old only started to fit into the Larges about a month ago, and he still wears the mediums. You can also find packages online where they have sets of 1-2-3 dozen and the price per diaper is discounted a little. You can also buy packages of seconds (they have some small flaw but are perfectly functional) discounted even further. For instance, www.abbyslane.com has 24 fuzzi bunz for $430. However, if you join her Yahoo! email group you can get a discount code for 5% off of your purchase, bringing the 24 diapers down to $409.26 However, you'd need to spend this for each size, bringing it up to about $1300 total. You can recover a lot of this (half or more) by selling off each size as your baby outgrows them, as they hold their value and are highly sought after. www.diaperswappers.com is a good place to buy and sell used diapers.
There is a method that is between the two above methods: BumGenius One-Size diapers. They fit from birth to 35 lbs (yes, my 2.5 yr old can still wear them, as can my 4 yr old...yes she's potty trained, she just wanted one on one day, LOL) Again, you can buy them at www.abbyslane.com You'd want 3 dozen of these (to prevent too much wear and tear over the years and because a newborn will need closer to 3 dozen diaper to get through 2 days between washings). They run $613.20 before her discount for 36 diapers (ordering a set of 30 and a set of 6) and $582.54 after the discount.
Compared to disposables, that run about $0.25 - $0.35 per diaper. A newborn will use about 15-18 diapers a day the first 2 months, averaging 960 diapers in the first 2 months for a cost of: $288 (at $0.30 per diaper in the current economy). From 8 weeks to about 9 months baby will use about 9-12 diapers per day, and the diaper packages go down to about 32 diapers per package. So, about $823 for those 7 months. From 9 months to 24 months they'll use about 6-9 diapers a day (depending upon how often baby pees)so about $882 for those 15 months. IF your child potty learns at 2, you're looking at a total of: $1993 for two years.
If your child doesn't potty learn until 3 then you're looking at an additional $705 bringing the total up to: $2698 for 3 years of diapers that end up in a land fill for 500 years.
Friday, August 22, 2008
100th Blog!!!
This is my 100th blog!!! WOW! Hard to believe I posted 100 blogs on my random musings, thoughts, and sometimes complete nothingness. LOL
So, to celebrate, I'd like to hear from everyone as to what blogs stood out or impacted you the most. Maybe my political rants rub you the wrong way, or you disagree with them? I wanna hear it! If you love the advice I've given on wearing your baby, then tell me! :o)
So, to YOU...my blog readers...I want to say thank you for reading my thoughts. :o) You all are great!
So, to celebrate, I'd like to hear from everyone as to what blogs stood out or impacted you the most. Maybe my political rants rub you the wrong way, or you disagree with them? I wanna hear it! If you love the advice I've given on wearing your baby, then tell me! :o)
So, to YOU...my blog readers...I want to say thank you for reading my thoughts. :o) You all are great!
Obama Has a Half-Brother
It has come to light, by the Italian version of Vanity Fair, that Sen. Obama has a half brother. The shocking part? This poor man is living in poverty in a squatters/shanty town in Nairobi...and Sen. Obama knows this.
I think the thing that gets me the most is how Sen. Obama claims to be a Christian. As Christians we are called to help those in need, to help our spiritual brothers...and he will not even help his biological brother. To me, this is disturbing.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/barackobama/2590614/Barack-Obamas-lost-brother-found-in-Kenya.html
Barack Obama's 'lost' brother found in Kenya
Senator Barack Obama's long lost brother has been tracked down for the first time living in a shanty town in Kenya, reports claimed.
By Nick Pisa in Rome
Last Updated: 11:52AM BST 21 Aug 2008
George Hussein Onyango Obama
George Hussein Onyango Obama, Senator Barack Obama's long lost brother was tracked down living in a hut on the outskirts of Nairobi Photo: Guy Calaf, Vanity Fair, Italy
The Italian edition of Vanity Fair said that it had found George Hussein Onyango Obama living in a hut in a ramshackle town of Huruma on the outskirts of Nairobi.
Mr Obama, 26, the youngest of the presidential candidate's half-brothers, spoke for the first time about his life, which could not be more different than that of the Democratic contender.
"No-one knows who I am," he told the magazine, before claiming: "I live here on less than a dollar a month."
According to Italy's Vanity Fair his two metre by three metre shack is decorated with football posters of the Italian football giants AC Milan and Inter, as well as a calendar showing exotic beaches of the world.
Vanity Fair also noted that he had a front page newspaper picture of his famous brother - born of the same father as him, Barack Hussein Obama, but to a different mother, named only as Jael.
He told the magazine: "I live like a recluse, no-one knows I exist."
Embarrassed by his penury, he said that he does not does not mention his famous half-brother in conversation.
"If anyone says something about my surname, I say we are not related. I am ashamed," he said.
For ten years George Obama lived rough. However he now hopes to try to sort his life out by starting a course at a local technical college.
He has only met his famous older brother twice - once when he was just five and the last time in 2006 when Senator Obama was on a tour of East Africa and visited Nairobi.
The Illinois senator mentions his brother in his autobiography, describing him in just one passing paragraph as a "beautiful boy with a rounded head".
Of their second meeting, George Obama said: "It was very brief, we spoke for just a few minutes. It was like meeting a complete stranger."
George added he was no longer in contact with his mother and said:"I have had to learn to live and take what I need.
"Huruma is a tough place, last January during the elections there was rioting and six people were hacked to death. The police don't even arrest you they just shoot you.
"I have seen two of my friends killed. I have scars from defending myself with my fists. I am good with my fists."
I think the thing that gets me the most is how Sen. Obama claims to be a Christian. As Christians we are called to help those in need, to help our spiritual brothers...and he will not even help his biological brother. To me, this is disturbing.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/barackobama/2590614/Barack-Obamas-lost-brother-found-in-Kenya.html
Barack Obama's 'lost' brother found in Kenya
Senator Barack Obama's long lost brother has been tracked down for the first time living in a shanty town in Kenya, reports claimed.
By Nick Pisa in Rome
Last Updated: 11:52AM BST 21 Aug 2008
George Hussein Onyango Obama
George Hussein Onyango Obama, Senator Barack Obama's long lost brother was tracked down living in a hut on the outskirts of Nairobi Photo: Guy Calaf, Vanity Fair, Italy
The Italian edition of Vanity Fair said that it had found George Hussein Onyango Obama living in a hut in a ramshackle town of Huruma on the outskirts of Nairobi.
Mr Obama, 26, the youngest of the presidential candidate's half-brothers, spoke for the first time about his life, which could not be more different than that of the Democratic contender.
"No-one knows who I am," he told the magazine, before claiming: "I live here on less than a dollar a month."
According to Italy's Vanity Fair his two metre by three metre shack is decorated with football posters of the Italian football giants AC Milan and Inter, as well as a calendar showing exotic beaches of the world.
Vanity Fair also noted that he had a front page newspaper picture of his famous brother - born of the same father as him, Barack Hussein Obama, but to a different mother, named only as Jael.
He told the magazine: "I live like a recluse, no-one knows I exist."
Embarrassed by his penury, he said that he does not does not mention his famous half-brother in conversation.
"If anyone says something about my surname, I say we are not related. I am ashamed," he said.
For ten years George Obama lived rough. However he now hopes to try to sort his life out by starting a course at a local technical college.
He has only met his famous older brother twice - once when he was just five and the last time in 2006 when Senator Obama was on a tour of East Africa and visited Nairobi.
The Illinois senator mentions his brother in his autobiography, describing him in just one passing paragraph as a "beautiful boy with a rounded head".
Of their second meeting, George Obama said: "It was very brief, we spoke for just a few minutes. It was like meeting a complete stranger."
George added he was no longer in contact with his mother and said:"I have had to learn to live and take what I need.
"Huruma is a tough place, last January during the elections there was rioting and six people were hacked to death. The police don't even arrest you they just shoot you.
"I have seen two of my friends killed. I have scars from defending myself with my fists. I am good with my fists."
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