Some Pictures to Get me Through...

So, while I grieve the loss of an unborn child, I thought I'd celebrate the wonderful two children I have...and love dearly. Thank you, Lord, for these precious children. Thank you for entrusting me with their care. Thank you for a husband who loves me as much as he does, but loves our children and you as much. Thank you for our life. Thank you for your love. Thank you for our children.

Now a Mommy to An Angel Baby....

I went in to see my Chiro yesterday for an adjustment, and she and I had been talking all week about the possibility of my being pregnant. She specializes in pregnant women and children, and is an actual doctor, so she did some digging and called some friends as well. Here is the general consensus based upon everything that happened (please remember I'm only sharing a small amt. of information here).

Apparently, a couple of things happened. First, during my exam 2 weeks ago, when my Gyn checked the IUD placement, she must have dislodged it a bit. DH and I had been intimate that morning before my exam (yea, I know...LOL) and this must have allowed a spermie to get by. Conception must have occurred, and I tested b/c I started feeling some of my usual early pregnancy symptoms. We're guessing that I got a pos. either just as HCG hormones were beginning to produce, or just after the pregnancy ended, but either way, our best guess is that I must have gotten pregnant and my body resorbed the baby, most likely because of the Mirena. The tests I took yesterday morning and this morning both produced shadow like lines at around 5 min., but were so faint that I'm not sure if it was wishful thinking on my part, or what because DH wasn't ever able to see them. I don't know. We now know for certain that the Mirena was dislodged, because part of what I've been feeling was it working its way out. This afternoon, it came out completely. I am now without my Mirena and feeling crampy.

It was one of those freak things, I guess. But, after hearing that I was most likely pregnant and lost it because of the Mirena, well, I don't want another one. For now we're going to go back to NFP (Natural Family Planning) and just see what happens. DH just got a potential job offer last night that would double his income and move us from FL to Pax River, MD...so we really need to see what's going to come of that. Obviously, if a final offer is made, we'd take it.

Anyway, this whole week has been one of those crazy kind of weeks and this whole story is one that I'd expect to read on a message board as one of those "a friend of my cousin's sister-in-law's, best friend's 3rd cousin had..." if you know what I mean. I'm just looking forward to moving forward with our life, and I don't know that I'll ever get over the fact that I have an angel baby up in heaven waiting for me. I don't think it'd hurt this much to loose a baby if I weren't already a mother, but throw in that I desperately want another baby soon (not just yet, but soon) it only makes it harder. I don't know how DH is doing, he won't talk about it...it's kinda the elephant in the room. But if you could please spare a few prayers as we heal and move forward it would be greatly appreciated.

Signed,

A Mommy to an Angel Baby

Soon to be Free...

...of the IUD! I have had this thing in to make sure that I didn't have another surprise baby after Little Dude was born. My pregnancies are SO hard, and I just could not have handled no insurance, a high needs baby, and being pregnant. So...June 8th I am going in to get it out (hopefully). No...not planning another baby any time soon, but honestly...I wouldn't be opposed. :o) I want to be done having our children before I am done with school...when I have to figure out how to pay back all the student loans.

Anyway, soon to be free!

Poopies!

So, there's this baby poop story contest going on here
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So, Here's my story!

When Little Dude was a couple of months old he officially made me a mother. I had been a mother for more than 2 years, but he made it official. He'd been battling a diaper rash. None of the creams on the market were helping much, and it wasn't yeast. So, knowing about all the healing properties that breastmilk holds, I decided to put this on his bottom. It went very well...it helped his bottom a lot, he healed very quickly. One diaper change I leaned over him to squirt the milk on his bum, straight from the tap.

Then it happened.

It...

the poop.

Any mother will tell you that a newborn has this amazing ability to projectile poop. And that's what he did.

All...



Over....



My...



BOOB!!! That's right...runny, seedy, mustard colored baby breastfed poop all over my breast!!!! Yea...that diaper changed ended very quickly, culminating in my jumping into the shower.

I managed to get a shower that day at least....

pics

Here are some pictures from this morning.

Wrist Pain

I'm sorry I haven't been able to update lately. My wrist has been bothering me a lot lately. I'm not sure what's going on, but I suspect it might be carpal tunnel or tendinitis. *sigh* I've only been able to type up my course assignments, nothing else.

I went through my CLC (certified lactation consultant) course April 30 - May 4th. It was a VERY stressful week, but worth it. We survived and the kids are glad to have mommy home again.

I am now watching Jack and Jill's daughter 2-3 days a week. She's a cutie but it's taking a lot of adjustment on her part. She is VERY clingy and gets jealous if I even hold Little Dude to nurse him. I am hoping (and praying) that this adjustment period will pass quickly.

The kids are doing well. They survived sinus and ear infections, but the allergies are killing them both as well as DH.

That's all for now!

51 lbs of Kiddos!

A friend asked if it is possible to wear two kids in wraps. I took it as a personal challenge. See, I've seen OTHER moms do it (or, rather, seen pictures of them doing it) but I've never done it myself. I knew it was possible, I've just never actually done it. So...I did it.

William is in the front with my Didymos Rosenquartz Indio sz. 6 and Heather is on my back in my Storchenweige Inka 4.2m. William is 21 lbs and Heather is 30 lbs.

Win a Coach Purse...

I saw this on another blog, and thought "Hmmm...what the heck!? I'll enter.'' So, Here is the link. Good luck to all!

Cat Pee...

Okay, since I AM a Christian woman I won't use the word most people would have used. I must confess, though, that when this incident happened...well, "pee" wasn't the word that flew out of my mouth when DH asked me what happened. For that, I am sorry. :o(

Anyway, I am stressed. This week has been spent trying to prepare for next week. Next week is the week I am spending all week, away from my children (and my nursing son) to take the course to become a certified lactation consultant. There is a LOT of pressure on me regarding it and I have a LOT to do to prepare...the least of which is laundry.

Lots, and lots, and lots, of laundry. Why? Because I know DH won't be doing during the week, I have only a few outfits that will work for the week, and I won't have time to do it during the week.

So, I am loading the washer w/ one of the two loads of towels I have to wash. The cat comes up and starts rubbing up against my feet yowling. He's been yowling a lot lately. Frankly, he's been driving me up the wall with all his yowling.

Why is he yowling? Because he wants to go outside. But he is not allowed outside. Why? Because this time he came back w/ a leg so swollen he couldn't walk, and a so infected it was abscessed and it's been draining for almost 3 weeks now. That means I have to clean out his leg twice daily. Yea...it sucks. Last time? He came back missing two toes!! He got into a fight w/ another cat and that other cat ripped two toes out of one of his back feet! So, KiKi is now an indoor cat...and he's letting us know just how much he hates it.

So, I didn't think anything of his yowling. He apparently decided to get even.

I'm putting towel after towel into the washer, sorting, pulling out wash clothes b/c those have to be bleached, and suddenly...IT happens.

Yes...IT.

I sniff. *sniff sniff* I smell IT.

Then, I use my 2nd sense. I feel IT.

Yes, FEEL IT.

What is IT?

THE CAT WAS PEEING ON MY FOOT!!! THE STINKIN' CAT WHO HAS CAUSED ME MORE GREEF THAN HE'S WORTH PEED ON MY FOOT!!!!!

My pants, my ONLY pair of cute boot cut jeans that FIT, became a casualty of our little war. I had JUST showered, taken the trash out, loaded and started the dishwasher, and was CLEAN. I was actually wearing clothes that were clean and look good on me and FIT...and he PEED on them!

What did I do? I had the last war in this battle. Since he was peeing ON my FOOT, my foot was in the prime position to pretend to be a super bowl football player. I did what anyone in my (now wet and smelly) situation would have done.

I went for the 50 yard field goal. I wasn't kicking pig skin though...I was kicking wet, peeing, cat skin. Across my kitchen, across my dining room, and into the family room.

I screamed as I kicked.

DH knew why he'd been kicked into the family room.

He was waiting.

Kiki is now in the dog kennel...yowling. He's not coming out. His litter box is in there, it's clean, the door was open...there was no reason for him to pee on me and my pants (oh yea...and my floor...my freshly mopped floor). So, he's in 'kitty jail' now. We'll see how long he lasts.

Suddenly, the humane society is sounding kind of nice. *sigh* But, he's the kids' cat. Sweet Pea would miss him. Would I? Ask me tomorrow.

Babywearing Daddy...

That's right! My DH has started wearing Little Dude! Last Monday we went to Busch Gardens w/ our friends. I was still weak from being so sick over the weekend so DH finally broke down and carried a very sleepy and fussy LD on his back...IN A WRAP! I had brought the Didymos Sven that I bought for him last month and he agreed to use it. It's red white and blue (a blue base w/ red and white pinstripes) so it it at least "masculine" for him.

Well, we went to Busch again yesterday, just the 4 of us, and he ASKED to wear Little Dude! And he told me to just use my purple wraps b/c that's what I had out!!! I am SO proud of him...but more than that I am SOOOOO in love with this man...this man who is willing to carry his son on his back and show the world that he loves his son.

I took a picture of him in Sven last week, but I promised not to publish it. Sorry! No photo to share. I will respect his wishes.

I love you, Babe!

Sorry to go M.I.A. and some updates.

...but Sweet Pea passed her flu bug on to the rest of us. For 2 weeks now we've battled illness. We were all over the flu by last Monday, I wasn't strong again until Tuesday though. Then, Tuesday DH ended up having to call into work to get his tooth pulled on a emergency thing. We spent 2 hours calling around looking for a dentist that could fit him in as an emergency patient (and had to pay extra for it). While we were waiting for him to see the dentist I kissed Sweet Pea's head only to have my lips burn! She was BURNING UP! I rushed her to our pediatrician as he was only 2 miles away and our house (which = our thermometer) was 8 miles away. I get there and she's running a temp of 104!!! Yup..she has a SINUS infection now! So, after a week w/ the flu in our home, SP gets a sinus infection.

Needless to say, I ended up with a headache from it all. A headache that lasted 5 days!!! I tried to get in to see my mom's doctor but they don't have any openings for, get this, FOUR WEEKS!!! So...I'm going to have to find another doctor because that's a joke.

My mom got back from Jamaica on Sunday. She was there for 10 days doing missions work. It seems that while we were under attack spiritually (and physically) the Lord was able to Bless her trip. I am very grateful for that. I would rather have had Satan attack me and my family than her trip. I only regret that due to my being so sick I was distracted and didn't pray for her and her trip the way I wanted to and had intended to.

I finished my 3rd block of classes. I passed with A's and have a 3.5 GPA now. :-) Not too shabby for a full time stay at home mom! I am VERY pleased with myself.

And God has provided me with a wonderful opportunity to help make up the difference in the loss of pay Tim took at work. Some very dear friends of ours have asked me to watch their precious daughter starting next month. The pay will give us the much needed "fun" money. :-) I look forward to it as their daughter is just precious....a wonderful little girl whom I adore. :-)

Well, that's about it for now. I'll write again tomorrow...as long as this (new) headache goes away.

Sick Children

Sweet Pea came up sick yesterday. She threw up all day, and then last night started running a temp of 103. Her doctor gave us a Rx for phenergan supositories, that the insurance didn't cover. $28 for 5 of those suckers!!! My poor baby girl has to have me stick them up her bum every 8 hours. Poor girl!

Then this morning, after he woke up from his morning nap, Little Dude woke up w/ a fever. He was running a temp of 104.1!!!!!!!!! I gave him some tylenal and a cool bath which brought it down to 103, and it was down to 102 by the time we got to the peds. office. I got home and it was back up to 103. 5 and when I set him down on the floor he just laid donw!!!! My little man who loves to crawl around all day, refusing to stop for ANYTHING, wouldn't move and was SOOOOOOOOOO lethargic! I laid down to nurse him (he wants to nurse, so he stays hydrated at least) and he's back asleep.

I hope and pray that my babies feel better soon! I feel so badly for them!

Pictures...

"Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea!"

C. pushing her little brother, C., and Sweet Pea on our garden swing.

She partied till she was pooped....and then dropped.

This is the cake made WITHOUT the butter cream goat's milk Icing. It's a carousel, if you can see the horses on there. Next time I'll use a very light colored glaze on each horse.

A random shot of Little Dude and Sweet Pea playing on my bed one morning.

Little Dude and Sweet Pea enjoying Mommy's new wrap: Holunder Waves Didymos

Passed out in mommy's lap. The blue things are Baby Legs, and I put them on him to keep all the pollen, dust, and dander that he's allergic to from irritating his eczema.

Well, that's all for now. Enjoy!

Missing "Us"

Those that have been married and have had children while might be able to relate. I found myself in "a funk" last night. I decided to make a montage of DH and I. Just us. No pictures of the kids. Wow...was that hard. We don't have a SINGLE picture of just the two of use in almost FOUR years!!!!! We've been married almost 5, so yea....there's a big gap in the "us" picture department. So, I started digging through my scrap booking box. You know, the big box of scrap booking stuff that I have from when I liked to scrap book...before we had kids. I then started sorting through those pictures to find some of us to scan.

In order to scan the pictures I had to install the drivers for our new printer/scanner combo onto our dinosaur desktop since they're not compatible w/ the Windows Vista that's on our new laptops. That gave me time to look through the rest of the pictures from the period of our life when DH was in the Marine Corps and we didn't have children. Big....mistake.

I found myself weepy and mourning that period in our life. It was just us. We lived 3,000 miles away from family. We had enough money to pay all our bills. DH didn't have to worry about paying for medical insurance. We didn't have to worry about him taking an $1,150 a month pay loss. We could stay out until midnight if we wanted. We could drive to Las Vegas on a weekend whim if we wanted. We could do what we wanted, when we wanted, and didn't have to worry about anything except being back when he had to be at work, not going more than 500 miles away, and leaving extra food and water out for the cats while we were gone. He actually got a full month off every year for vacation instead of the measly 1 week a year he gets now (yea, that's a joke). Except for our children, our life right now SUCKS! I mean yea, we have awesome parts of our life that we wouldn't change for anything. Sweet Pea and Little Dude complete our life. We're friends with Jack and Jill. We're in a house (of sorts, LOL). But I MISS our old life...and found myself mourning it. I've mourned that part of our life, the "early days" often but more and more in recent days.

But, then I stopped and gazed upon the faces of my precious, sleeping children and I am glad we have them. We just didn't want children before 5 years of marriage, and yet by our 5th year we have two. We wanted 5 years of "us" before having to share each other with children....and we wanted it that way because we know once we had children that "us" time would be rare. Heck, we try to be together as man and wife and we get interrupted...EVERY STINKIN' TIME!!! Is it any surprise that the past year has been so rocky for our marriage!?!?!? If only we had family who would be able to take the kids for a weekend...but Little Dude would NOT tolerate that. *sigh*

One day...if these kids don't tear DH and I apart...

Pictures...

Little Dude was less than thrilled w/ the whole "cake thing."

Sweet Pea, enjoying Mama's new Inka Storch wrap.

Little Dude enjoying Inka in his way.

BIG SMILE!!!

My BEAUTIFUL little Princess!

That's all for now!

Couple Friends

Every couple needs another couple with whom they are close. After almost 5 years of marriage, DH and I have met that couple! Jack and Jill are a true God Send. Not only do we see eye to eye politically (a miracle in and of itself), but we also agree on the key issues of Christianity, they are Christians, and they have a daughter who is the same age as Little Dude! Little Dude and Dudette were due on the same day, however they were born 3 weeks apart.

Sweet Pea, my 3 year old princess, adores Jack, Jill, and Dudette, and Jack, Jill, and Dudette all come over to our home multiple times a week to have dinner, play games, watch movies, or just chat. And BOY can we chat! LOL

Thank you God for these wonderful friends!

Life And Times...

Life And Times...

So, how do I begin to share what has happened since August?

In September I started school! I am a STUDENT! YAY!

Well, on October 30, 2006 we moved into a house! A house that a friend of my dad's at church owns and is renting us! The move was from a very bad place, and was the move from HEDES (h-e-double hockey sticks). In fact, the move nearly tore apart my family. But, we did it, we moved, we are now settled in, and we LOVE it! We have a huge hard, fenced of course, 2 dogs, and 2 happy children.

In December Little Dude celebrated his 1st Christmas. It was nice. DH's cousin "J" came over and stayed with us for a few days to celebrate with us. Again, very nice. I will publish pictures later. Little Dude also started crawling, which is a huge milestone.

In January DH and I took Sweet Pea and Little Dude to Disney World's Magic Kingdom w/ K and her 3 children. We had a blast.

Last month, we got our 2nd dog, a purebred German Shepherd Dog (GSD) named Shelly. She's a great addition to our family but needs to learn to be less aggressive towards Bean, our first dog (a Golden Retriever/Boarder Collie mix). She really loves Sweet Pea and Little Dude, but loves me more than anyone.

Little Dude turned 1 last Wednesday! I can't believe it! He's ONE!!! WOW! Where did the year go!? So, that means that Sweet Pea turned 3 YESTERDAY! That is just as hard to believe. It seems as though it was only a few months ago that she was in the NICU struggling to thrive! Now she's my 30 lb, smart mouth, drama princess 3-yr old. I love both of them dearly.

We got a severe blow financially, though. Tuesday, DH's hours got cut. He was talking to his boss, and his boss informed him that he's not allowed to work any more overtime! That's a 20 hour a week, or $650 a month pay cut!!!!! Add that to the fact that our insurance is $500 a month JUST for DH and I and it's an $1150 a month loss in pay that we're going to be suffering!!!!! I'm not sure how we're going to survive, but we will. God will provide. He always does.

I am about to publish a post that I though I'd lost! I have lost so many posts that I had quit posting my thoughts. Well, I finally got this darned thing figured out, and so look out world, I'm posting again!

This is from August 11, 2006...so it's been lost for a while, but now is found! I guess this is a parody of many people searching for Christ.

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Would some slow down the world? I'd like to get off now!

This week has been INSANE! On Monday, my best friend went into labor. She has 2 other children (girls) and her husband is currently serving overseas. So, while she had someone to come get the girls, she needed me to help her labor at home until she was ready to go to the hospital. At 6am I got the text from her, packed up Little Dude, and drove out to her house. I helped her labor until 1am when she got to th Dr's office. Her midwife told her she was only 3 cm. and 50% effaced, so she had to labor at home some more, but DID strip her membraines to "help things along". I took "K" back home and took Little Dude home. I'd been gone all day, up for almost 12 hours already, and Sweet Pea as well as hubby (aka Jarhead) needed to spend some time with me. Well, shortly after I got home "K's" mom picked her up and took her to the hospital where she was admitted and she had her baby...naturally...11 lbs 1 oz!!! A little boy.

Tuesday I had to replace my driver's license. Sweet Pea got into my wallet and LOST my driver's license, one of Little Dude's insurance cards, and my bank card. I found the last two, but never did find my driver's license. So, I had to go get that. Then, I had to go get some things from wal-mart w/ Jarhead and the kids. After that I took Jarhead home and took Sweet Pea, Little Dude, and my 2 youngest sisters to the museum (M.O.S.I. - Museum of Science and Industry) since homeschoolers were getting in free. That was really nice. I took them home after 2 hours, and the youngest sister, "J" came home w/ me for the evening. I was SOOOO stressed...the house was a MESS (and "J" is a neat FREAK so she wasn't happy about that, lol), I had dinner to get out, and kids to bathe and get to bed. Um...yea...S.T.R.E.S.S.E.D!!! lol

Wednesday, "K" called me and needed me to take her home. She was being discharged a day early and no one could get her home. I was the ONLY one who could get her home. So, since I know she'd have done the same for me in that situation, I sent Sweet Pea over to my mom's and went out to meet her. She told me to be there%2

How is it that I can love another person as deeply as I do? In this case, it's two people: Sweet Pea and Little Dude. I adore my husband, and love him just as much and as deeply as I do SP and LD, but the depth of and power of my love for these two children is overwhelming. I never immagined I could love them so much.

Let me talk about Sweet Pea for a moment. She is SO bright, so intelligent, and so sweet, caring, kind, loving, and has such a gentle spirit. She is so amazing, so wonderful. She loves SO deeply, and is filled with an exuberence that spills into everything she does. Would you believe that after DH and I told her that she could not have a (new) toy that we had bought she didn't throw a fit about it? That's b/c she simply turned around, walked out of the room, and took my sharpest knife out of my utensils drawer (I suppose those need child-proof locks on them too, now) and I found her standing in my livingroom, box on the floor, knife in hand, cutting into the box!! I couldn't believe it! She is SO smart! (yes, I took everything away from her and told her that she couldn't have them and why) Then, the other day I was sitting on the floor, and she came up to me and started rubbing my back! See...SO smart and SO kind.

Oh, and my family has welcomed a new cousin into the world. Baby girl C was born on Wednesday, July 12th at 10:40pm weighing in at 6 lbs 2 oz an 19" long. She is the 3rd and final child in her family, and the 2nd daughter. I saw her today for the first time, and..."L and R" she is BEAUTIFUL! Congradulations!

Well...that's all for now.