I've always said that as a Christian God is always working in my life. It's particularly neat to look back and see where His hand has been and to "see" how God has been working in your life.
Right now, though, God is working on my heart. He has been preparing my heart and my mind to become receptive to information regarding some major character flaws from those around me. This has been painful, but wonderful too. My only sadness is that I have pushed several friends away in the process.
I am a very out going person. Yes, those that know me will likely laugh at this statement because they know how true it is. I am also a passionate person. There's noting wrong with passion, but the way that I project this passion onto others IS a problem. I am a loving person who loves to share my passions with those around me. When I learn something new that I feel strongly about, I can't help but want to share this revelation with everyone I love! I want others to discover what I have discovered and to see and experience the thrill of my revelation. In short, I'm wanting to help people. This isn't wrong. However, I tend to beat the topic to death in an attempt to "win people" to my side. Rather than sharing what I've learned with my friends, I harp on the subject over and over and over until they don't want to be around me any more because they are so sick of hearing what I have to say. In short, I have a "go forth and conquer consequences be damned" mentality. This is NOT Christ-like behavior.
God has been helping me learn when to share what I think/feel with a person and when not to. When the time is right, and I drop the information for what ever topic is at hand, He has been helping me learn when to back off. This has been a HUGE revelation and is a work in progress.
The other aspect of my personality that makes this lesson so hard to learn is that when I do learn something new I turn to those I love to share the information. I HAVE to get it out, to share my excitement. I do not believe there's anything wrong with this...the line is crossed when conversation after conversation I continue to harp on the topic. Thank you to those who are patient enough to let me "get it out of my system".
I want to thank my husband for helping me to learn this about myself, as well as for putting up with me for all these years. I love him SO much! I'd also like to thank several of my friends for being loving enough to put up with me for so long, and to help me gently learn and accept that everyone is different, every family is different, and what I love and works for me may or may not work for everyone else. Thank you Kristin, Jen, and Becca. I love you girls SO much! Please continue to be patient with me as God continues to work in my heart and my life. Feel free to tell me if I'm "doing it again" in our conversations, and going beyond the simple "getting it out of my system." I love you all SO much and thank God regularly for all of you in my life.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Horse Love
As many people already know, my precious little girl LOVES horses. She's been begging me to let her start riding for a very long time now (over a year, and she's been asking for a horse of her own since Christmas 2006, yes 2.5 years old! LOL). I've been calling around for a while as well, looking for a trainer and stable that would fit my requirements. They are:
1) Not a show barn - my preschool age daughter doesn't need to be in a place training her for shows...not yet anyway.
2) Teaches english riding (versus Western) - English requires much more balance and skill than western, so I want her to learn this first and then she can learn western down the road if she wants. Not likely, though, because she wants to jump.
3) Will teach ALL aspects of equine care, knowledge, etc. not just showing up, hopping on, and riding. I want her to learn all the parts of the horse, the colors, how to groom, tack up, cool down, bathe, muck stalls, etc. as she reaches appropriate ages. (No, I'm not expecting my 4 year old to muck out a stall and tack up her own pony, LOL).
4) Affordable
5) Within a 30 min. drive
Well, I think DH stumbled upon the barn for us today. He found an add for a lady, who also offers big discounts for homeschooling families, and when I called the lady was excited that I wanted to start Heather ate the age of 4, believes in teaching all aspects of horsemanship, and met every other qualification that I had! We're going tomorrow to meet her and see the stables and if I still feel good about it, we'll sign her up for her first private lesson. :o) I'm thinking 2 lessons a month would be plenty for her, and still not impact our finances.
1) Not a show barn - my preschool age daughter doesn't need to be in a place training her for shows...not yet anyway.
2) Teaches english riding (versus Western) - English requires much more balance and skill than western, so I want her to learn this first and then she can learn western down the road if she wants. Not likely, though, because she wants to jump.
3) Will teach ALL aspects of equine care, knowledge, etc. not just showing up, hopping on, and riding. I want her to learn all the parts of the horse, the colors, how to groom, tack up, cool down, bathe, muck stalls, etc. as she reaches appropriate ages. (No, I'm not expecting my 4 year old to muck out a stall and tack up her own pony, LOL).
4) Affordable
5) Within a 30 min. drive
Well, I think DH stumbled upon the barn for us today. He found an add for a lady, who also offers big discounts for homeschooling families, and when I called the lady was excited that I wanted to start Heather ate the age of 4, believes in teaching all aspects of horsemanship, and met every other qualification that I had! We're going tomorrow to meet her and see the stables and if I still feel good about it, we'll sign her up for her first private lesson. :o) I'm thinking 2 lessons a month would be plenty for her, and still not impact our finances.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
I Don't Get It.
I know I will step on a lot of toes by posting this, which is why I keep my mouth shut on this topic unless a) asked b) the mother/parent I am talking to is in a frame of mind to be receptive to this information and not take it as a personal attack. I NEVER mean the sharing of this information as an attack on anyone: personal or not. This is my rant, my vent. If you don't like what I have to say, then you may read another post or find another blog. It won't bother me any. This is MY place to rant.
I was prompted to write all this because I am pregnant, and as such posting on some pregnancy boards. I've finally had enough of sitting on my fingers and biting my cyber tongue, so I came to MY blog to get this all off of my chest.
<>< <>< <><
I don't claim to be perfect. In fact, I am far from it. I am a sinner just like every other human being walking the face of the earth today. I have nothing against formula. It was created to be a substitute to sustain a child who is unable to have her mother's milk (note: I will use the gender "her" so keep thing simple, but I am referring to infants of both genders). It was never intended to take the place of mother's milk simply "because." In fact, The World Health Organization (WHO) even states that the use of formula should be limited to a last resort. They recommend:
1) The mother's breast.
2) The mother's milk expressed for baby if the breast is not available or separated
3) If mother's milk is not available, the use of donated milk through milk banks
4) If no human milk is available, then use breast milk substitute.
(http://boycottnestle.blogspot.com/2007/08/industry-attack-philippines.html - about half way down the page is the quote from the WHO representative).
So, why is it then, when the rest of the world is calling formula "breast milk substitute" are educated women, women holding bachelors, masters, and doctoral degrees, making the conscious choice to not even attempt to breast feed? Why are they saying, "well, I know they say breast is best, but I just don't believe there's enough of a difference," or "Well, my other child(ren) was formula fed and s/he is healthy so I just don't believe there's that much of a difference."
Comments like these, especially coming from educated women, makes me want to bang my head into a wall. When I DO present the information on the truths, nay the HAZARDS of formula, they brush it off as "bias" and say that as an LC (Lactation Consultant) I am biased so I'm not a reliable person to get information from. *continue banging head into wall* Let me clear the air, and this common myths, not LIES, about LCs and formula.
I am a Lactation Consultant. I am educated in things that the average person AND DOCTORS do not know. EVERY SCRAP of information that I give out is evidence based, and when asked I will provide the person queering with the exact studies done by IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, what I am aspiring to be through my work towards my BA in Human Lactation) AND DOCTORS not just in the US, but AROUND THE WORLD!!! So, if I am pulling out study after study (and yes, I have hundreds of pages of studies listed in a book of resources that I consult) done by such a diverse group of people in so many countries, how am I biased or is my information bias? I will not list my personal opinion on a matter when representing myself as an LC unless asked, and never without stating that it is my opinion only, and not yet proven yay or nay through research. Saying that I am biased against formula is like saying that engineer is biased against a piece of equipment that has been proven to be less effective than another piece of equipment through studies and research that said engineer has had no part in.
Using formula to sustain and grow a baby IS A HAZARD!!! Why? I will begin my explanation using simple, more broad, arguments and then become more specific. So site tight if you want to know WHY formula is something to be used not at your own risk, but at the risk of your child.
1) Human babies were designed to be nourished by human milk. When any other baby mammal (such as a kitten, puppy, foal, or dolphin) is separated from it's birth mother, every attempt is made to place that baby with another lactating female of it's own species. Why is this done? Every mammal species makes milk for the very very specific requirements of it's own babies growth and needs.
A baby cow needs to grow very quickly, and needs to be able to run to flee danger. Thus, it's mother's milk is made up of components to enable a baby cow to grow as needed for it's life. It's mother's milk is: 3.7% fat to accommodate rapid growth, 3.4% protein to accommodate it's quick muscular development to flee from danger, 4.8% Lactose, and 0.7% Ash. It requires 47 days to double it's birth weight. (Lawrence, 2005).
A reindeer has needs much the same, but due to it's colder climates it needs to gain much more body fast much quicker and needs to be able to run much faster, much sooner. It's mother's milk is: 16.9% fat, 11.5% protein, 2.8% lactose, and zero ash. It takes 30 days to double it's birth weight. (Lawrence, 2005)
A baby human needs to put on weight to survive any illness it may encounter but rather it needs to develop mentally much more than it needs to develop physically. The components of breast milk are designed to encourage the rapid growth that a human brain undergoes. Our milk is: 3.8% fat, .09% protein, 7.0% lactose, .2% ash. It takes your baby 180 days to double it's 6-8lb birth weight. (Lawrence, 2005)
If you are interested in learning more about this check out the book "Breastfeeding: A Guide for the Medical Professional" by Lawrence and Lawrence (2005 edition). It has an entire chapter (lengthly chapter, complete with tables and graphs) dedicated just to the biochemical make up of human milk.
2) Formula does not contain living cells that help promote the physical and mental health and development for a baby. For instance, a single drop of breast milk has over 100,000 white blood cells in it. Human milk also contains living stem cells. These are things that formula can not simulate.
3) The intestinal wall of an infant contains villi, little finger like projections. These villi act as filters for the baby's blood stream. The catch the nutritional components of the baby's diet and pass it into the blood stream while passing the waist and allergens and bad aspects on to the intestines to be excreted as waste.
Formula strips away the Villi. This causes the intestinal wall to become porous and allow for allergens to pass into the baby's blood stream. This makes the baby susceptible to developing food allergies. This is especially bad for babies who come from families with a history of food allergies. It takes 6 weeks for these villi to grow back from a single bottle of formula that may be pushed upon the mother in the hospital by well meaning nurses ("But mom, your colostrum isn't enough right now. Your baby will become dehydrated if you don't give her formula." being the most common bit of misinformation given to new mothers by nurses in the hospital). Babies that are fed a diet of nothing but formula are not allowed to regrow the villi and leave their gut in a constant state of attack.
Additionally, the villi is what is involved in the passing the lactose into the blood stream. A human baby needs lots of lactose (high in sugar) to grow; more than any other mammal baby. If the Villi are gone, then pure fat is what is causing baby to grow. This causes extra fat stores in a baby, and what a formula fed baby is more likely to develop Type 1 or Type 2 diabetes than a breast fed baby.
4) Babies that come from families prone to diabetes are more likely to develop diabetes in life if fed infant formula instead of breast milk.
*** *** ***
Now, while I have listed all of the reasons why formula is dangerous to feed your baby, I want to clear something first. I recognize that formula is needed for some babies. Some mothers are "unable" to breast feed. However, I am going to go into a mom being "unable" to breast feed.
Most mothers who do not succeed in breast feeding their babies (I am reluctant to call it "failing" at breast feeding since this is not a test) do so because of any or all of the reasons below.
* They lack a support system - the people that surround a new mother need to be supportive of her choosing to breast feed. It is something that takes much dedication and is rarely accomplished if her husband, mom, mother-in-law, friends, etc. around her are not breast feeding or not supportive of breast feeding. Comments such as "Just give her one bottle, it won't hurt," do not help the situation any. Even worse is when a well meaning mother or mother-in-law tries to undermine the mother or convince the mother to give bottles because she (the mother/MIL) wants to help feed the baby too. When the support of, "Come on! You can do this! You are doing such a wonderful thing for you baby!" and "Come on, just one more feeding/day/week/month/etc. You can do this!" to help encourage mom to reach her mini goals. These are all wonderful things that help a new mother keep going.
* "My milk dried up." or "I didn't make enough milk" is a common argument. Being bombarded with samples of formula from formula companies. The cans for the "occasional" bottle to "give mom a break" are often times the beginning of the end. If mom replaces one feeding at the breast with a bottle of formula, it is telling her body to make one feeding less of milk. That's one feeding she physically won't be able to give her baby, which leads to another feeding from a bottle, then another and another, etc. until her milk has diminished to almost nothing. When combined with someone saying, "Well, you can't make enough milk for you baby," this can be in and of itself the beginning of the end.
* When baby has a problem, and mom is not being supported or seeking advice from a breastfeeding professional (such as a Lactation Consultant or La Leche League leader), or doubts and does not follow the advice of the professional given (or even is given misinformation by a well meaning "professional" such as, "oh, you have to use a nipple shield" being a VERY common one) then the breastfeeding relationship is in peril. Combine it with the free samples on hand, mom doubting herself, and/or the lack of a good support system and their relationship is over before it started.
These are the most common reasons why new moms end up formula feeding. These are all things that are very easily remedied. With the Internet in almost every home, all a mom has to do is goggle a query to find sound, evidence supported, information from sites such as kellymom.com and llli.org. It is disheartening as an LC to see moms not utilizing these free tools and caving to any of the above road blocks. It is frustrating to see a mom not listen to the LCs and La Leche League leaders around her and rather listen to the dated, often mis-information, given by their mothers.
These are the situations that frustrate me. Not the ones where a woman had a breast reduction and is unable to breast feed. Or the baby was given bottles in the NICU against mother's wishes, and will no longer accept the breast. Formula DOES have it's place. It's place is NOT on the shelves of every store, mailed to new mothers, passed out in diaper bags, and given away at baby showers.
Very little thrills me more then when a mother whose breastfeeding relationship was damaged with her first child comes to me or any other breastfeeding professional and goes on to breastfeed her next/future child(ren). To these mothers, I applaud and hug and cheer.
In short, I wish mothers would stop listening to the lies of the formula companies that "formula is just as good" when scientifically it's proven that it is NOT "just as good." When all the evidence proves that formula is not a good thing for every baby to be raised upon just because it's "there" acting as a rubber crutch to new mothers in a society that normalizes infant feeding with cans of formula, bottles, and artificial nipples. Why can't mothers just listen to their instincts!? Why can't more mothers stand up to these societal lies!?
If you got this far, thank you for reading the rants and raves of a hormonal, pregnant, tired, mother.
(Lawrence and Lawrence (2005). Breastfeding: A Guide for the Medical Professional. p. 107. Elsevier Mosby, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. )
I was prompted to write all this because I am pregnant, and as such posting on some pregnancy boards. I've finally had enough of sitting on my fingers and biting my cyber tongue, so I came to MY blog to get this all off of my chest.
<>< <>< <><
I don't claim to be perfect. In fact, I am far from it. I am a sinner just like every other human being walking the face of the earth today. I have nothing against formula. It was created to be a substitute to sustain a child who is unable to have her mother's milk (note: I will use the gender "her" so keep thing simple, but I am referring to infants of both genders). It was never intended to take the place of mother's milk simply "because." In fact, The World Health Organization (WHO) even states that the use of formula should be limited to a last resort. They recommend:
1) The mother's breast.
2) The mother's milk expressed for baby if the breast is not available or separated
3) If mother's milk is not available, the use of donated milk through milk banks
4) If no human milk is available, then use breast milk substitute.
(http://boycottnestle.blogspot.com/2007/08/industry-attack-philippines.html - about half way down the page is the quote from the WHO representative).
So, why is it then, when the rest of the world is calling formula "breast milk substitute" are educated women, women holding bachelors, masters, and doctoral degrees, making the conscious choice to not even attempt to breast feed? Why are they saying, "well, I know they say breast is best, but I just don't believe there's enough of a difference," or "Well, my other child(ren) was formula fed and s/he is healthy so I just don't believe there's that much of a difference."
Comments like these, especially coming from educated women, makes me want to bang my head into a wall. When I DO present the information on the truths, nay the HAZARDS of formula, they brush it off as "bias" and say that as an LC (Lactation Consultant) I am biased so I'm not a reliable person to get information from. *continue banging head into wall* Let me clear the air, and this common myths, not LIES, about LCs and formula.
I am a Lactation Consultant. I am educated in things that the average person AND DOCTORS do not know. EVERY SCRAP of information that I give out is evidence based, and when asked I will provide the person queering with the exact studies done by IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, what I am aspiring to be through my work towards my BA in Human Lactation) AND DOCTORS not just in the US, but AROUND THE WORLD!!! So, if I am pulling out study after study (and yes, I have hundreds of pages of studies listed in a book of resources that I consult) done by such a diverse group of people in so many countries, how am I biased or is my information bias? I will not list my personal opinion on a matter when representing myself as an LC unless asked, and never without stating that it is my opinion only, and not yet proven yay or nay through research. Saying that I am biased against formula is like saying that engineer is biased against a piece of equipment that has been proven to be less effective than another piece of equipment through studies and research that said engineer has had no part in.
Using formula to sustain and grow a baby IS A HAZARD!!! Why? I will begin my explanation using simple, more broad, arguments and then become more specific. So site tight if you want to know WHY formula is something to be used not at your own risk, but at the risk of your child.
1) Human babies were designed to be nourished by human milk. When any other baby mammal (such as a kitten, puppy, foal, or dolphin) is separated from it's birth mother, every attempt is made to place that baby with another lactating female of it's own species. Why is this done? Every mammal species makes milk for the very very specific requirements of it's own babies growth and needs.
A baby cow needs to grow very quickly, and needs to be able to run to flee danger. Thus, it's mother's milk is made up of components to enable a baby cow to grow as needed for it's life. It's mother's milk is: 3.7% fat to accommodate rapid growth, 3.4% protein to accommodate it's quick muscular development to flee from danger, 4.8% Lactose, and 0.7% Ash. It requires 47 days to double it's birth weight. (Lawrence, 2005).
A reindeer has needs much the same, but due to it's colder climates it needs to gain much more body fast much quicker and needs to be able to run much faster, much sooner. It's mother's milk is: 16.9% fat, 11.5% protein, 2.8% lactose, and zero ash. It takes 30 days to double it's birth weight. (Lawrence, 2005)
A baby human needs to put on weight to survive any illness it may encounter but rather it needs to develop mentally much more than it needs to develop physically. The components of breast milk are designed to encourage the rapid growth that a human brain undergoes. Our milk is: 3.8% fat, .09% protein, 7.0% lactose, .2% ash. It takes your baby 180 days to double it's 6-8lb birth weight. (Lawrence, 2005)
If you are interested in learning more about this check out the book "Breastfeeding: A Guide for the Medical Professional" by Lawrence and Lawrence (2005 edition). It has an entire chapter (lengthly chapter, complete with tables and graphs) dedicated just to the biochemical make up of human milk.
2) Formula does not contain living cells that help promote the physical and mental health and development for a baby. For instance, a single drop of breast milk has over 100,000 white blood cells in it. Human milk also contains living stem cells. These are things that formula can not simulate.
3) The intestinal wall of an infant contains villi, little finger like projections. These villi act as filters for the baby's blood stream. The catch the nutritional components of the baby's diet and pass it into the blood stream while passing the waist and allergens and bad aspects on to the intestines to be excreted as waste.
Formula strips away the Villi. This causes the intestinal wall to become porous and allow for allergens to pass into the baby's blood stream. This makes the baby susceptible to developing food allergies. This is especially bad for babies who come from families with a history of food allergies. It takes 6 weeks for these villi to grow back from a single bottle of formula that may be pushed upon the mother in the hospital by well meaning nurses ("But mom, your colostrum isn't enough right now. Your baby will become dehydrated if you don't give her formula." being the most common bit of misinformation given to new mothers by nurses in the hospital). Babies that are fed a diet of nothing but formula are not allowed to regrow the villi and leave their gut in a constant state of attack.
Additionally, the villi is what is involved in the passing the lactose into the blood stream. A human baby needs lots of lactose (high in sugar) to grow; more than any other mammal baby. If the Villi are gone, then pure fat is what is causing baby to grow. This causes extra fat stores in a baby, and what a formula fed baby is more likely to develop Type 1 or Type 2 diabetes than a breast fed baby.
4) Babies that come from families prone to diabetes are more likely to develop diabetes in life if fed infant formula instead of breast milk.
*** *** ***
Now, while I have listed all of the reasons why formula is dangerous to feed your baby, I want to clear something first. I recognize that formula is needed for some babies. Some mothers are "unable" to breast feed. However, I am going to go into a mom being "unable" to breast feed.
Most mothers who do not succeed in breast feeding their babies (I am reluctant to call it "failing" at breast feeding since this is not a test) do so because of any or all of the reasons below.
* They lack a support system - the people that surround a new mother need to be supportive of her choosing to breast feed. It is something that takes much dedication and is rarely accomplished if her husband, mom, mother-in-law, friends, etc. around her are not breast feeding or not supportive of breast feeding. Comments such as "Just give her one bottle, it won't hurt," do not help the situation any. Even worse is when a well meaning mother or mother-in-law tries to undermine the mother or convince the mother to give bottles because she (the mother/MIL) wants to help feed the baby too. When the support of, "Come on! You can do this! You are doing such a wonderful thing for you baby!" and "Come on, just one more feeding/day/week/month/etc. You can do this!" to help encourage mom to reach her mini goals. These are all wonderful things that help a new mother keep going.
* "My milk dried up." or "I didn't make enough milk" is a common argument. Being bombarded with samples of formula from formula companies. The cans for the "occasional" bottle to "give mom a break" are often times the beginning of the end. If mom replaces one feeding at the breast with a bottle of formula, it is telling her body to make one feeding less of milk. That's one feeding she physically won't be able to give her baby, which leads to another feeding from a bottle, then another and another, etc. until her milk has diminished to almost nothing. When combined with someone saying, "Well, you can't make enough milk for you baby," this can be in and of itself the beginning of the end.
* When baby has a problem, and mom is not being supported or seeking advice from a breastfeeding professional (such as a Lactation Consultant or La Leche League leader), or doubts and does not follow the advice of the professional given (or even is given misinformation by a well meaning "professional" such as, "oh, you have to use a nipple shield" being a VERY common one) then the breastfeeding relationship is in peril. Combine it with the free samples on hand, mom doubting herself, and/or the lack of a good support system and their relationship is over before it started.
These are the most common reasons why new moms end up formula feeding. These are all things that are very easily remedied. With the Internet in almost every home, all a mom has to do is goggle a query to find sound, evidence supported, information from sites such as kellymom.com and llli.org. It is disheartening as an LC to see moms not utilizing these free tools and caving to any of the above road blocks. It is frustrating to see a mom not listen to the LCs and La Leche League leaders around her and rather listen to the dated, often mis-information, given by their mothers.
These are the situations that frustrate me. Not the ones where a woman had a breast reduction and is unable to breast feed. Or the baby was given bottles in the NICU against mother's wishes, and will no longer accept the breast. Formula DOES have it's place. It's place is NOT on the shelves of every store, mailed to new mothers, passed out in diaper bags, and given away at baby showers.
Very little thrills me more then when a mother whose breastfeeding relationship was damaged with her first child comes to me or any other breastfeeding professional and goes on to breastfeed her next/future child(ren). To these mothers, I applaud and hug and cheer.
In short, I wish mothers would stop listening to the lies of the formula companies that "formula is just as good" when scientifically it's proven that it is NOT "just as good." When all the evidence proves that formula is not a good thing for every baby to be raised upon just because it's "there" acting as a rubber crutch to new mothers in a society that normalizes infant feeding with cans of formula, bottles, and artificial nipples. Why can't mothers just listen to their instincts!? Why can't more mothers stand up to these societal lies!?
If you got this far, thank you for reading the rants and raves of a hormonal, pregnant, tired, mother.
(Lawrence and Lawrence (2005). Breastfeding: A Guide for the Medical Professional. p. 107. Elsevier Mosby, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. )
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