Thursday, January 14, 2010

It Is Well with my Soul

Tonight God has placed this hymn upon my heart. I'm not sure why, but the lyrics are bringing me to tears tonight. This is my all-time favorite hymn, as the story behind the author's inspiration is amazing.

I figured I'd blog about the lyrics and verses and story of this song, and see if I can't find what God might be trying to impress upon me tonight.

"When peace like a river, attendeth my way; When sorrows lie sea billows roll, Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul."

I just want to add an exclamation point at the end of that verse, as when I sing it I feel as though my soul is screaming it to the Lord.

The author/composer of this song is Horatio Spafford. In the 2 years leading up to his inspiration to write this song, his only son was killed, his family fortune was destroyed and he was bankrupt in Great Chicago Fire, and all 4 of his daughters were killed while sailing to Europe and their boat suddenly sank. Only his wife survived.

God later blessed them with more children, additional fortune, and the chance to minister to others, but I think of the pain he must have been enduring at the time of the writing of this song. The thought of loosing even one of my children brings me to tears and makes my heart ache. To have lost ALL of his children...I can't even imagine his pain!!! And then, to sit there and cry out to the Lord, telling the Lord that even though he's in agony, he's filled with peace and that his soul is okay and at peace...what an AMAZING thing to experience, and truly NOT something we as humans experience (in a time of extreme loss and grief) without the love of the Lord.

"Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, that Christ has regarded my helpless estate and hath shed His own blood for my soul"

Again....WOW!!! To sit there and say that even though the Devil himself is attacking him, and trials (and I'd say he was enduring far more than mere trials) are his lot at that moment, that he is at peace because GOD has seen his grief/sorrows/pain/anguish/(fill in with appropriate adjective here) and in His grace, DIED for him/'s amazing!!!

(P.S. the spell check didn't recognize my type-o of "christ" and insisted that it must be spelled "Christ" how cool is that!?!?!!?!?)

"My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, no in part but in whole, Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!"

I'm serious, that makes me want to sing and shout and scream and whoop and holler!!!!! SERIOUSLY! MY sin, ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the wrong things I've done, and will do, are NOT mine to bear! That God would look at ME, take pitty upon ME, and DIE so that I am freed of this burden and may spend ETERNITY in Heaven with Him....WOW!!

(P.S. the exclamation points are Mr. Spafford's...not mine!)

"For me, bit it Christ, be it Christ hence to live, If Jordan above me shall roll; No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life, Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul."

How be at a point where you can say that regardless of the pain in your life, you live for CHRIST and that regardless of whether you are alive or dead, God is giving your soup peace. AMEN!

"But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait; The sky, not the grave, is our goal; Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord1 Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul."

Lord, this is SUCH a true statement! I must try and live my life more in the anticipation of your return, and less wrapped up in the moment of today. These things I do here, nothing matters but that which will bring you GLORY! My frustrations, will all be forgotten. But what I do for YOU...that will be carried on. I MUST remember to focus more on sharing your love, peace, and grace with my children (who are quickly loving You) as their tender lives can impact others. THAT is what is important, Lord! Thank you for helping me to see this! I do ache for your return. I used to more as a child than I do now as a my heart hurts at the thought of my children enduring any pain that may be associated with my reunion with you....but I MUST remember that regardless of what may happen to me (Or more painfully, to them) we WILL be reunited and that it is YOUR return that is so important!

"And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, Even so, it is well with my soul"

Lord, my soul gets excited as this thought! To get to be here when You return is a truly thrilling experience! Lord, please hurry! This impatient human girl is in love with You, and anxious for your return!

"It is well, with my soul"


I do find it amazing that, while Tim was unemployed for 2 months (he is now employed, thanks for any prayers you all might have said) my soul WAS at peace! Ever need was met...and exceeded!!!! We never wanted for anything, much less needed a thing! God you were and are GOOD!!!!

Last week the transmission in my van died. Friday we received an estimate to rebuild it for $1500. Resolved to wait a month until we receive our tax return, we started making due with one car and Tim newly employed. By Monday, we had an unexpected check in the mail form Tim's school...for excess financial aid money...enough to cover the tranny re-build and then some!!!!

God you are AMAZING!!!!

Friday, January 01, 2010

Happy New Year!!!

Today is the 1st day of 2010. Wow, that is weird just writing it...much less saying it.

I hope that the year to come is much better than the one just passed for everyone. The year for us was filled with many difficult obstacles that we had to overcome, but by the Grace of God (and strength that came from Him) we did.

This past fall we moved into a new home, an apartment. We truly feel that this apartment was from God. It is big, beautiful, has all the amenities that we could ever hope to have and then some, and God surrounded us with some amazing neighbors. We could stay here for a long time very comfortably.

Samantha turned 1 this past Halloween! I can't believe my baby girl is 1 already! We celebrated her birthday in our new home, welcoming a few friends and family members in for the first view of our home. Samantha enjoyed the cake, of course she did NOT make a mess (she bucks the norm where ever she can), and LOVED all the books she was given (have I mentioned this child LOVES books???). As of last night (New Year's Eve) she is 14 months old. It is truly staggering how quickly they grow.

Heather is excelling in school. She's gone through the kindergarten math in half a year, so I'm sitting here about to finish the school planning for the second I have to plan out the remaining weeks using all 1st grade math!

William is still William: my train loving little boy. He has SUCH a tender heart. I thank God for this precious boy. He learned to use the bathroom over the summer, and has fully mastered it day and night. He's a cool kid (who LOVES his Thomas and Spiderman underwear).

In November my Darling husband was involved in a severe car accident. He was in his work truck, on the clock at work, when he was run off the road by a large box truck. His work truck rolled a couple of times. I thank God that he was wearing his seat belt as the police officer and paramedics at the scene informed me he'd have been killed if he'd not been wearing it. Getting the phone call from an unknown number, and having the unfamiliar voice inform me immediately not to panic but that he was a paramedic, was hard not to panic. I do remember that my blood ran cold, and I'm certain my heart missed at least a couple of beats. The help of my family, and two AMAZING friends who accompanied me to the hospital to a) support me b) support TJ c) help with Samantha d) bear witness to what ever may be said/done regarding his boss and the company he worked for are what got me through that evening. You two know who you are, and I thank you from the BOTTOM of my heart.

TJ ended up with some nasty lacerations from the windshield and windows that blew out, as well as some very deep road rash from his elbow being drug across the interstate. These scrapes have still not fully healed almost 2 months later. The scars still open up and bleed from time to time and cause him a lot of pain. Above the external injuries he suffered some bad back injuries. We will not know the true extent of these injuries until next week when an MRI is done. He has been going through physical therapy for over a month and while the muscles are getting stronger, the source of his pain is his actual spine. This is leading doctors to think he has a problem with a disk in his back. They have said it is either: bulging, slipped, or ruptured/exploded.

4 days after his accident, while on medical leave, TJ received a call from his boss informing him that the company's board of directors had met and decided not to replace the work truck and thus, he was being laid off.

The last 2 months have been a very difficult time, where we've had to REALLY lean upon God. I must take the time to say that the one thing we've learned in all this is to take the step of faith when you know that step is one that God wants us to take. God made it clear to us that He did not want us to utilize Toys for Tots to help our children have a Christmas this year. That very day I came home to find two unexpected checks in the mail box for over $1200. OH how He provides!! We were able to pay bills, pay rent, and purchase a few things for the children for Christmas. A week later a close friend of my sister's (and a good friend of ours) went out and purchased an overwhelming number of gifts for all three children. Tearfully we drove home that night overwhelmed by the love of others, and of God's amazing grace. Finally, on Christmas Eve we were blessed by our church for a 4th time. We'd been provided with a full Thanksgiving dinner shortly after TJ's lay off, and on Christmas Eve the church provided us with a full Christmas Dinner as well. I was floored. Additionally, they bought the children gifts, and a gift card for TJ and I. I was overwhelmed. So many people have done SO much to help us. I continue to thank God.

So, the year ahead is filled with SOOO many uncertainties, but is filled with a cautious excitement. We will continue to trust God as we move on into 2010.

To all those who have helped us, we all thank you from the bottoms of our hearts.