Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Perfect Mothers

There's one thing I have learned from spending time around my loving, if not frustrating, family is that there is this: there are no perfect mothers, and every one is a perfect mother.

It takes all kinds of mothers to mother all kinds of children. Be the kind of mother you are!

That is, there isn't one set of rules to be a perfect mother. Ever child is different, every family is different (even among grown children becoming parents, their family is different than the one they grew up in), and every mother is different.

I got badgered all weekend long, my blouse wasn't nice enough, my son's hair is too long (even though we're growing it out since he IS half Native American), my son is too whiny, if I do "A, B, or C" then "X, Y, and Z" will happen (and X, Y, and Z are not "good" things). Rant after complaint and it drove me NUTS!

I apprecaite well meaning advice. The Good Lord knows I give out enough. But I take all advice with an open mind, an open heart, a grain of salt in some places, and with the spirit it is given: trying to help. I have learned SO MUCH from other mothers through their well meaning advice, most of it regarding what kind of mother I want to be, and how to make decisions that I feel is best for my family (such as how chiropractors and medical professionals are now saying babies shouldn't be in hard soled shoes until they are closer to 2 or 3). You would not BELIEVE the flack and nasty comments I get from people IN MY FAMILY as well as IN MY CHURCH regarding my son's footwear! HOLY SMOKES people! They are SHOES! I feel that they are best for him, I have seen him stumble around more in hard soled shoes and thus HIS FATHER and I TOGETHER made the decision to keep him in soft soled shoes! If I disclosed his shoe size I'm sure he'd have been bombarded with SHOES for Christmas!

I am still breastfeeding. There. It's in the open. Why am I? IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! But, breastilk IS still better than cow's milk in a child...especially a child that is, um, ALLERGIC to cow's milk! "So give him soy milk, or rice milk," they say. WHY???? Why give him a product that isn't anywhere CLOSE to being as good for him as what I am giving him? Why put him through that emotional trauma of being forced to wean? He wants to, I want we are. You don't like it? TOO FRACKEN BAD! MY CHILD, MY BOOBS, MY CHOICE!!!

So, if people could only see how every mother is different, every child is different, and every family is different and STOP GIVING MOTHERS FLACK! You want to give your advice? SURE! I'll continue to take it with an open heart and an open mind...and continue to learn about the kind of mother I want to be (and may NOT want to be). If I don't want your advice, I'll tell you...and I'd hope that others would do the same for me.

So, to all my friends who are mothers: YOU ARE AWESOME MAMAS!!! You all make the best decisions you can for your children. While I may feel that breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, and attachment parenting are the bottom line best, they are not right for every family. I understand this and it doesn't bother me in the least if you don't do these things.

So to those that don't do these things STOP GIVING ME A HARD TIME FOR DOING THEM! Go tend to your children (regardless of their ages) and let me tend to mine.

Now, for your viewing pleasure, a picture that captures the wonder of a child at Christmas.


Mum2Angus said...

You tell em sister! Don't let the bastards get you down!!!

Guinevere Meadow said...

They're just jealous. ;)