Tuesday, April 22, 2008

God Is Working

I've always said that as a Christian God is always working in my life. It's particularly neat to look back and see where His hand has been and to "see" how God has been working in your life.

Right now, though, God is working on my heart. He has been preparing my heart and my mind to become receptive to information regarding some major character flaws from those around me. This has been painful, but wonderful too. My only sadness is that I have pushed several friends away in the process.

I am a very out going person. Yes, those that know me will likely laugh at this statement because they know how true it is. I am also a passionate person. There's noting wrong with passion, but the way that I project this passion onto others IS a problem. I am a loving person who loves to share my passions with those around me. When I learn something new that I feel strongly about, I can't help but want to share this revelation with everyone I love! I want others to discover what I have discovered and to see and experience the thrill of my revelation. In short, I'm wanting to help people. This isn't wrong. However, I tend to beat the topic to death in an attempt to "win people" to my side. Rather than sharing what I've learned with my friends, I harp on the subject over and over and over until they don't want to be around me any more because they are so sick of hearing what I have to say. In short, I have a "go forth and conquer consequences be damned" mentality. This is NOT Christ-like behavior.

God has been helping me learn when to share what I think/feel with a person and when not to. When the time is right, and I drop the information for what ever topic is at hand, He has been helping me learn when to back off. This has been a HUGE revelation and is a work in progress.

The other aspect of my personality that makes this lesson so hard to learn is that when I do learn something new I turn to those I love to share the information. I HAVE to get it out, to share my excitement. I do not believe there's anything wrong with this...the line is crossed when conversation after conversation I continue to harp on the topic. Thank you to those who are patient enough to let me "get it out of my system".

I want to thank my husband for helping me to learn this about myself, as well as for putting up with me for all these years. I love him SO much! I'd also like to thank several of my friends for being loving enough to put up with me for so long, and to help me gently learn and accept that everyone is different, every family is different, and what I love and works for me may or may not work for everyone else. Thank you Kristin, Jen, and Becca. I love you girls SO much! Please continue to be patient with me as God continues to work in my heart and my life. Feel free to tell me if I'm "doing it again" in our conversations, and going beyond the simple "getting it out of my system." I love you all SO much and thank God regularly for all of you in my life.

1 comment:

Jennifer Swanepoel said...

Lessons about ourselves can be the hardest to learn...

I love you too!

(Oh, the reason I didn't answer the phone when you called today is because I was busy nursing a back injury. Grr. Lying in an awkward position on top of an ice pack and just generally in a bad mood. I wouldn't have been the best phone company today!)