The things we say as parents, that we would never say otherwise. The list can be fun, so feel free to add to it in the "comments" section.
I bought my kids a bag of mixed nuts to share in the car one day. A MUCH healthier snack than chips, or cookies, or french fries, and I knew they'd enjoy it just as much so I was proud of myself for making such a wise decision regarding my children's dietary needs.
Heather took William's bag of nuts away from him.
"Heather, quit playing with your brother's nuts and give them back to him!"
Yes, I actually said it.
It gets better, though.
William was throwing handfuls of nuts from his bag across the car, and giggling gleefully.
"William, quit playing with your nuts and put them in your mouth!"
I...about...died. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I had to work hard to choke back the laughter that threatened to spill forth and cause my son to continue "playing with his nuts."
Of course, there's, "Leave the cat alone, and quit trying to lock his head in the box" with the box being a Sterilite container he was trying to close, with ONLY the cat's head inside. But that's still not as funny as the nuts comments.
Ah, the things we say...